“”That night, on going to bed, I forgot to prepare in imagination the Barmecide supper, of hot roast potatoes, or white bread and new milk, with which I was wont to amuse my inward cravings. I feasted instead on the spectacle of ideal drawings, which I saw in the dark – all the work of my own hand.” (Bronte, 84).
In this passage, Jane is coming to terms with the fact that Lowood has it flaws. Even though she is mistreated physically and malnourished, Lowood as just another “low” time in her life. This passage is significant because Jane is accepting the reality of her school. She is normalizing the fact that she is underfed and because she did this, she could give up hoping for a well-balanced meal. When Jane loses hope for better treatment, she also loses her imagination. She loses her imagination for being treated well for once. This loss of imagination is not just from the lack of food at Lowood but also the mistreatment she received from her aunt. I think that this is a permanent loss of Jane’s hope and positive imagination because this thought process is like a coming of age story. Jane is shedding her imagination for a life in where is she treated well by others and focusing on she can make herself happy. It says “I feasted instead on the spectacle of ideal drawings.” This means that Jane is replacing thoughts of unhappiness and hunger with happiness and drawings. This switch is impressive because Jane is still young but has the mental capacity to normalize the wrongdoings of Lowood and find happiness within her drawings. Her drawings are symbolic because they show how despite all the hardships Jane faced with the passing of her parents, the passing of her uncle, the mistreatment from her aunt, the bullying from her cousin and the malnourishment from Lowood, she is still able to survive. This passage represents the qualities of Jane. Jane can survive any circumstance and with each mistreatment, it only makes her stronger. Her drawings allow her to escape reality for the time being and engage in something that she is passionate about. Although Jane hasn’t received much love in her life, she is learning to love through her drawings. Jane says “I was wont to amuse my inward cravings” when paraphrased, this means that Jane will not let her desire for food affect her life. She is showing strength and maturity by resisting the temptations of her stomach. I think that Jane is afraid of becoming miserable like her aunt or like Mr. Brocklehurst so she refuses to indulge in thoughts that would make her like them in anyway. By resisting the urge to hope for better treatment Jane is showing that she has true power over those who have and are mistreating her.
This is a very interesting viewpoint of this passage. I have to be honest this was one of those passages which I underlined, but completely forgot about. One could argue though that she isn’t necessarily losing/refusing her imagination, but instead maturing. Though I feel like that is a very bleak outlook of the “loss of imagination” perhaps it is the most realistic. Though, I like what you said about her drawings, which I do agree are a means for her to escape reality. I just think that perhaps her loss of imagination is more due to her age, than her stubbornness.