“Her lips parting for me every time- / a deep-throated “hey” or “hello” / was enough, the way a weekly token / of bread or wine can be enough” (Dordal, 26).
This passage from “Clues” shifts from sexual references to casual conversation to religious ritual. These lines are suggesting that sexuality and faith are both internal human needs. Repetition of the word “enough” is significant. It is emphasizing the way these two desirable things intertwine, i.e. they both provide a rooted place of support and connection. These casual, habitual actions tying back to sexuality and religion are subtle reminders of the desires every person craves; they provide a temporary sense of fulfillment for the narrator. A passage from Written on the Body exemplified this deep yearn for human connection as well, “I didn’t only want Louise’s flesh, I wanted her bones, her blood, her tissues, the sinews that bound her together” (Winterson, 51). This passage describes the need for sexual connection, the raw need for body-body interaction that the narrator of “Clues” is longing for.
This passage relates to the rest of the poems in Mosaic of the Dark because religion is a repetitive theme. The religious references are used periodically throughout the volume as a guideline for life, to show the evolution of a person by outlining important religious ceremonies. However, these references are also used to mimic how the narrator is presenting herself and her feelings. These lines shed light on the use of Christian references as a metaphorical expression of the narrator because they emphasize the way the narrator’s sexual desires have to be satisfied by small conversation, the way bread and wine must signify Jesus’s sacrifice. The narrator has not come out as a lesbian, so she needs to get her fix by moments like this because she has not yet claimed her new identity, one challenging heteronormative views. Her body has come to terms with her sexual orientation before her mind has, so for now these small interactions are “enough” to gratify her desires. Mention of religion to mimic the narrators thoughts and feelings appears in many other passages as well, including “until the last day, when I came out- / one part Christian, one part Jew, all queer (41)” used to show what it felt like for her to honestly voice her sexual orientation.