Map Jokes

Need a break from working on final map projects?  Check out these amusing (and very corny) map jokes from gishumor.com!

• What is the tidiest element on a map? The neatline.
• Why are maps like fish? They both have scales.
• Why do paper maps never win at poker?  Because they always fold.
• What do you get when you cross a cowboy with a mapmaker?  A cow-tographer.
• What did the mapmaker send his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?  A dozen compass roses.
• Why does west longitude need to be cheered up?  Because it is always negative.
• Why did the dot go to college?  Because it wanted to be a graduated symbol.
• What do you call a map of outhouses in the woods?  A shaded relief map.
• What do you call a USGS quadrangle with green water, blue forests, and all the names spelled backwards?  A topo-illogical map.
• What kind of maps do spiders make?  Web-based maps.
• What projection do lost sheep use to find their way home?  The Lamb-ert Conic Conformal projection.