Map Jokes

Need a break from working on final map projects?  Check out these amusing (and very corny) map jokes from!

  • What is the tidiest element on a map? The neatline.
  • Why are maps like fish? They both have scales.
  • Why do paper maps never win at poker?  Because they always fold.
  • What do you get when you cross a cowboy with a mapmaker?  A cow-tographer.
  • What did the mapmaker send his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?  A dozen compass roses.
  • Why does west longitude need to be cheered up?  Because it is always negative.
  • Why did the dot go to college?  Because it wanted to be a graduated symbol.
  • What do you call a map of outhouses in the woods?  A shaded relief map.
  • What do you call a USGS quadrangle with green water, blue forests, and all the names spelled backwards?  A topo-illogical map.
  • What kind of maps do spiders make?  Web-based maps.
  • What projection do lost sheep use to find their way home?  The Lamb-ert Conic Conformal projection.