Mixing It Up

Observations and ideas about race, ethnicity and mixing.

Racial Dating Preferences

A lot of people may argue that racial issues have improved prior to the 1960s but I really don’t think so. A lot of has changed politically but socially in our lives, not that much has changed. If you have met and gotten to be around me, you will notice I don’t talk much. I am a very observant person, therefore I love listening to people and try to understand them. I have friends who deem themselves as progressive /open minded as what we would call today as being “woke”. They are quick to call someone out if they made a racist comment or joke but won’t call them out about types of people they would date based on skin color. I was at the cafeteria not long ago in the beginning of the semester sitting at a table with close friends of mine eating. We were spending time sharing what we did over the break and one person at the table shared out loud that he has finally gotten a Tinder dating account. We all cracked up and resumed to whatever the previous conversation was. Later on the person with the Tinder account saw a notification from the app on his phone that he has matched with someone. He opened to find out who it was and he reacted saying something like, “Eww no!”. We were all curious to see it was and quite frankly, it was a nice looking person. We all in an agreement said the person he matched with is a good looking person and doesn’t deserve that reaction. All he said was, “But I only date black guys.” I immediately asked why and he replied saying, “It’s just my preference”. This had me thinking, “Is it really okay for people to have dating types/dating preference based on skin color?” And this is not the first time I have heard this. I have a couple friends from my high school who have also said something as dating only white guys and asians only. I am really interested in finding out why they have preference based on skin color. I wonder if it is because of their surrounding or what they have been exposed to growing up.

2 Comments

  1. Not too long ago, my friend told me that in his psychology class, they read an article which mentioned you’re most likely to be attracted to people of your own race or ethnicity. I don’t know if this was the case for your friend but I have to agree that often times I do here people saying they only date a certain race or ethnicity. I’m curious to know too why skin tone plays a factor in deciding who you love. We fight against discrimination, yet having a certain physical preference can also be interpreted as discrimination.

  2. I think that it is fair for people to have dating preferences based on race. I don’t think that it makes someone prejudice, I just believe that it makes someone consciously aware of who they are and whose best fit to embrace on an intimate, personal level. For me personally, I honestly believe that there would be a great disconnect between my spouse and I if they were white. Not just because I am black, but because I am marginalized. I would not understand the perks of being a white male in America. Given this lack of privilege, mentally I believe that there will be such a disturbing disconnect between the two of us given social consciousness.

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