When I first read Jane Eyre I was in high school. I had been given permission to go through my father’s office and take any books I wanted, and I did so eagerly. Looking back, I think there was a desire to prove that I really was a reader, that I could take books that I thought were suitably grown up and understand them and enjoy them. Those books sat on a shelf in my room for a little while as I tried to get my nerve up to find them interesting. They were all old, and most of them hadn’t been read in years.
So I picked one that, after a few false starts, seemed the least intimidating. Jane Eyre. I could read about a woman named Jane – that wasn’t too bad at all. So, to prove that I was absolutely very grown up and reading a grown up book and was really very smart, I went downstairs to read in the living room, just in case anybody wanted to see what I was reading.
I stubbornly struggled my way through the introduction, and eventually I got to the good part. I remember the exact moment that it clicked for me. I was sitting next to a window, I could hear the rain pouring outside, but I was dry and warm with a pillow on my lap, and I was reading about Jane Eyre. Except actually, I was standing in Gateshead Hall, reading about birds with Jane. I was standing at the top of the stairs confronting Mrs. Reed. I was sitting in the middle of the stream with Jane as she got to explore the outdoors of Lowood. I was walking away from Thornfield Hall with her and sleeping in the moors under the stars. And all of those moments coalesced into a beautiful feeling of nostalgia for all of the imagined scenes I created as a child, for every moment I had dreamed that I was experiencing these moments of exploration and nature that Jane was. I was absolutely transported. Although I didn’t understand the nuances of the novel, I enjoyed it and every moment of Jane’s journey took me along with her.
It was one of the first moments where I felt like I really related to people when they said that they were transported into a novel, where I was really present to that experience. And I had chosen it for myself, without any prompting. Of course I fell in love with it. Since that first reading I have read it a good many more times, and every time I have learned more either through class discussions and readings, or on my own through my own reflections. I have never not gotten something out of reading Jane Eyre, and I think that’s really special. Even as my understanding of the inner mechanics of the text have changed, I still find myself utterly fascinated by all the questions reading it inspires. I initially picked up Jane Eyre for reasons entirely beyond the text itself, but every reading beyond that first choice has been driven by a curiosity to learn more about everything within it.
I totally understand the sentiment of wanting to read/feeling you need to read classics to “prove” yourself as a reader. I definitely struggle with that still! But I love that Jane Eyre proved to be so transformative for you. I think for a lot of us, that’s the most we could ever want out of a book or any media. Something that transports us into another world and changes us for the better. I’m glad you’re writing a thesis on a text you love so much 🙂
This is so sweet! I feel like there’s a lot of societal pressure to read literary classics because they are ‘the best,’ and I know I often feel a lot of anxiety that they will be incomprehensible or I ‘won’t get it,’ so its so nice to hear how this ‘classic’ became so much more than a symbol of intellectualism for you. I think because of the status these books have, we often forget why they were beloved in the first place: their stories, their characters, and the way they can transport you somewhere else. I feel like this is such a nice story to encourage people to pick up that classic they’re intimidated by!
I love this! I feel like the stubborn adulthood proving but also making sure its visible is very Jane-ian. I think Jane herself is transported by novels that are relevant to her personal experience or general story. I believe at one point she reads Pamela, which follows the “romance” (much weirder than even Rochester) between a nobleman and a lower-class serving girl. Similarly, I think she also reads Rasselas, a text following thoughts experiments of young people entering society to discover questions of morality, ethics, society, and whether there can be a “good place”- themes Jane thinks about frequently.
This was a really fun post to read! I’m reminded in some ways of authors where you need to let their prose take you. It might be James Baldwin, Evelyn Waugh, or N. Scott Momaday, but their prose in some ways is the story. Their technical ability is so fantastic that it carries the novels. I very clearly remember my first time reading “Go Tell It on the Mountain” and having a similar kind of experience where I found myself in church with the characters as they begin to understand how generational trauma has changed their lives. You point to something that is a common, but magical experience, for all of us as English majors, and it’s something that I hope everyone gets to experience.