Place Visit 5: Light Touch Duet
I like the idea that we are always being touched by something, even when we feel like we aren’t. We tend to focus on touch by people, and although this is extremely important. Touch by nature can sometimes be neglected, and it is equally as important. In some ways, this makes me think about how we are never truly alone. Love is all around us, taking up many forms. The prompt called for standing in alignment. Standing in my place, I felt the breeze sweep across my face, the rustle of the wind in the trees, the slightly soggy grass and soil beneath my feet, the earthy smell after it rains. I noticed that some sensations registered in my mind more immediately than others. Some felt more surface-level. For example, I didn’t hear the song of a nearby bird right away. It had been there the whole time, but it seemed to pass through me subconsciously. It only became louder and clearer when I focused on the tune and its patterns. This makes me wonder how much other sensations slip through my fingers without me realizing on a daily basis. To draw a connection to our past class, we talked about quiet can end up being extremely loud depending on our focus. There is stillness in bustling areas, and a roar in the silence. I have always thought nature to be a symphony. This class is reinforcing my belief in that. Each individual sound is significant and contributes to the music of life. This brings me to a quote from the textbook that I love, “Although one may say ‘I’m not a dancer’ in reality, each of us participate in the dance of existence.” (Olsen pg. 72) The longer I stood in my place and brought attention to my surroundings, I felt my muscles relax, my breathing become more even, my heartbeat steadier. I tend to breathe from the tops of my lungs when I am anxious, and I hold tension in my jaw and stomach. Being aware of what was around me, connected me to what was happening internally. After all, breath is the link between our internal and external worlds. This makes me think of the section on breath, and how “the ongoing exchange of interior and exterior landscapes happens reflexively, without our attention; but it can be observed and effected by conscious awareness.” (Olsen pg. 115)
Place Visit 9: Attention to Emotions
As I was walking to my place, I felt overstimulated from the week. Burnt out from my workload and trying to make sense of my emotions. Due to this, I have been slightly irritable, and feeling like the little things are getting to me. I liked the thought of “shaking off emotional residue” even though this is much easier said than done. I have learned that I am a person who feels things very deeply, and sometimes everything all at once. I tried to work on this by carefully observing my surroundings. I wanted some physical contact, so I brought my focus to texture. I felt the prickly yet soft grass, the roughness and ridges of tree bark, the smoothness of stone, the grains of dirt. This helped my focus on external, rather than the internal storm. My emotions lately have felt like a “familiar animal,” feelings that are not strangers and not superficial. I am choosing to focus on the emotion of desire – the feeling of wanting more. I am curious to see if I can turn this around into inner peace. By focusing on my breath, I realized how the mere gift of oxygen is enough. My body working to keep me going is enough. I will always have myself to rely on, and that is enough. The feeling of sun on my skin, wrapping me up like a warm blanket (even sweeter because of its absence the past week), the cool breeze through my hair, clean air in my lungs. It reminds me that nature is the ultimate healer. This time, it helped to close my eyes. My choice was to “ride the wave”. Being outside and in my solitude made me more inclined to go along. I can feel easily consumed/overwhelmed by my emotions, and I need to work on feeling what I need to, and then letting go. I am in my own head a lot…so this is certainly a challenge. Going to my place always feels like I am taking time for myself. It re-aligns me and my mind.