Connection and Commitment in “Written on the Body”

“Written on the body is a secret code only visible in certain lights; the accumulations of a lifetime gather there. In places the palimpsest is so heavily worked that the letters feel like braille. I like to keep my body rolled up away from prying eyes. Never unfold too much, tell the whole story. I didn’t know that Louise would have reading hands. She has translated me Into her own book” (89).

Throughout the novel, the narrator struggles with commitment in their relationships. They say, “My circadian clock, which puts me to sleep at night and wakes me up in the morning in a regular twenty-four-hour fashion, has a larger arc that seems set at twenty-four weeks. I can override it, I’ve managed that, but I can’t stop it going off” (79). They seem to not last very long in relationships and, consciously or unconsciously, seek out emotionally unavailable, typically married, partners.​ They also make themselves emotionally unavailable. In this passage they say they “keep their body rolled away from prying eyes” and “never unfold too much, tell the whole story” (89). They don’t let anyone get too close, until Louise. Though the narrator struggles with this, they still ultimately desire a deep connection and a mundane, normal life with someone. They frequently write very philosophically and are extremely emotionally charged, wishful, and reflective. Their struggle doesn’t stop their need for love. They finally find this with Louise. From this passage, you can see that the narrator feels very deeply for Louise, more than any of their previous partnerships. 

When the narrator says, “Written on the body,” they are referencing a deep connection with their own past and the people they have been romantically involved with. Like scars, the narrator’s stories live with them on their skin. Though they have struggled with connection and commitment and have previously kept themselves somewhat withdrawn, they still are important aspects of the narrator’s past. The narrator’s connection with Louise runs deeper than with their previous partners. The narrator says “you have scored your name into my shoulders, … you play upon me, dumming me taut” (89). The most important line to me is, “I didn’t know that Louise would have reading hands. She translated me into her own book” (89). Louise breaks the narrator out of their mold. She makes the narrator finally settle and open up. The narrator’s life with Louise is written the deepest on their body. 

Despite the narrator finally settling down with Louise, the narrator only gets this dream for a short time. I find it interesting that once she finally commits to someone and is with them outside of infidelity, they are still taken away from her. If the narrator doesn’t leave, outside forces will still end the relationship. This connects back to the very first line of the novel, “Why is the measure of love loss?” (9). Maybe the narrator isn’t destined to be with anybody forever and can only understand and apprectiate their connection once they are physically gone, from their life or from life itself. I wonder if the narrator will be able to find any relationship again after how deep the narrator’s connection was with Louise.