Our Privacy and the Public

Eli Clare in “stones in my pocket, stones in my heart” speaks a lot about complex dynamics between bodies and identity, and how the outer world perceives bodies and identities that are not their own. At one point he says, “I lose the bigger picture, forget that woven through and around the private and intimate is always the public and political” (149). We briefly touched on this statement in class, but I wanted to go back at flesh out some more ideas I had. I do not think that Clare is saying that the two sets of ideas are synonymous. Rather, they coincide and loop around each other. We spoke about how politics often have an impact on our privacy. There are court cases and laws that deem whether two people of the same gender can get married. Additionally, there are laws that used to criminalize homosexuality, and it took a long time to legalize it in every state. These are policies by lawmakers in the past that have an effect on people’s current intimate and private lives. Additionally, there is always public opinion. Growing up in my conservative town, there was a stigma around being queer. Even now, the rhetoric being dispersed from TV shows, movies, political figures, or even just our friends, can influence our private and intimate lives (whether that is through hate or fear or even positive ideas like staying hydrated). People always have an opinion. Often, they can be damaging to our self-perceptions and how we go about our private lives. Especially when people go about imposing their opinions on our lives.

            Additionally, people with disabilities are also seen a certain way by the public eye as Clare mentioned in both of the chapters we have read. What is going on with a person’s body is private and intimate, yet people who have no idea what is going on often make judgments or think they know what is best for that person. Despite having a different body and not having experienced these things. Then, on the other hand, like Clare said in “the mountain,” there are instances where no one told him he did the right thing when he turned around while hiking. There are people always pushing goals on others without thinking about what the person feels. There is never not a public opinion.

            Further, when I think of Clare talking about the “public and political” being “woven through and around the private and intimate,” I think of a woven basket or blanket (149). And, thinking in those terms, I believe it is fair to say the opposite, that the “private and intimate” also fold over the “public and political” (149). By that, I mean, and what I think Clare is saying, that there is a cyclic cause and effect relationship. Queer people got the right to marriage (public) because queer people exist in private spaces and were willing to go public to argue for equality. Additionally, accessibility is enhanced to infrastructure or curriculums because people who are affected by the lack of accessibility in private, go public and argue for equality. That being said, one should not have to sacrifice their privacy for the sake of the public (it is a personal choice).

            There are often people who try to limit the access of other bodies and identities to be seen and heard. There are often people who want legislative control over other people’s bodies (as we can see now with laws against access to gender-affirming care). Yet, there are also people who speak out against the transphobes and homophobes and ableists. People do this in both public and private. The public only exists because the private exists and vice versa. We only know what one is because we have experienced the other. And, thus, there will always be a push and pull, an under and over, a cause and effect. It is how we align and accept ourselves that we can affect the public to protect our privacy. We learn our limits and how to speak for ourselves in the face of adversity.