Living through Trauma: Emotions and Imagery

“On relaxing she was overcome by the rage that seeped into her veins. At times like these she felt inflamed to the point of wanting to tear and scream into her father’s room, of screeching so piercingly that she disabled him, of punching him in his stomach over and over until he cried like a baby, admitted how loathesome he had been and begged hers and Asha’s forgiveness. But at such times her rage was usually muffled by a sudden injection of good sense. The success of an adventure like the one she was embarking upon depended on the control of all her faculties. Anger, hatred and even fear could very easily trip her up. Pohpoh worked on finding that perfect balance between being rigidly alert and dangerously relaxed” (Mootoo 143). 

This paragraph is incredibly evocative, beginning and ending with “relax” in some form despite being filled with volatility and pain. It explores how Pohpoh copes with the abuse she is enduring. Especially as she takes on the role of mother for her younger sister, she is learning to be wise, mature, and “alert” as a survival tactic and a trauma response. This continues into her adulthood and the relationship she forms with her younger self; Part Two states “her body remembered” despite the years Mala has lived without her father (Mootoo 175).  

The gradual rise of anger in Part Two is fascinating. As it becomes clear to readers that Pohpoh is the same woman who will later be accused of killing her father, more prose is dedicated to Pohpoh’s flashes of anger and resentment. Her desire to “[screech] so piercingly that she disabled him” calls to mind a Banshee. These supernatural creatures in Irish folklore are said to wail the night of a family member’s death—a wail which only the doomed person can hear (Britannica). Given Mootoo’s openness about being born in Ireland, and Cereus’ multiple references to the “Shivering Northern Wetlands,” it is plausible that this allusion was intentional (Mootoo 191).  

Next in the passage, Pohpoh daydreams about punching her father, which reminded me of a younger media connection. I would put that sentence—and Pohpoh’s story—in conversation with the Front Bottoms song “Father,” which begins with the lyrics, “I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat, and he is screaming and crying for help / and maybe halfway through, it has more to do with me killing him than it ever did protecting myself” (YouTube). This song also references rape as a mechanism of colonialism, violence, and gender stratification; what I will focus on is emotion, and how Pohpoh processes her feelings in Cereus. To me, the novel seems informed by psychological academia. Pohpoh feels guilt for “betraying” her father despite doing nothing wrong (Mootoo 212). Even Asha says in a letter that Pohpoh worries about her father in a way that seems counterintuitive to the untrained eye (Mootoo 244). These complex expressions of shame, rage, and fear are characterized well for a young girl growing up in a house of abuse. It is no wonder to me that this book resonates with survivors on a large scale. 

Gratifyingly, Cereus gives Pohpoh the time to feel horrible and angry and sad, but it also gives Mala the time to feel proud and victorious. I was elated by her sass when she told the constable about “a daughter’s duty” (Mootoo 182). Mala in the present is repeatedly described as defiant, in possession of “an insistence of her own” (Mootoo 182). She built her own life with a lush garden where no one dares to bother her. Mala is living with mental health issues and psychological pain which linger throughout the novel, but on the last page of the book she “[trembles] with joy” (Mootoo 249). She won, and her triumph is shared with Otto and Tyler.  

Works Cited 

“Banshee.” Encyclopaedia Britannica, Encyclopaedia Britannica, inc., www.britannica.com/topic/banshee. Accessed 2 Apr. 2025.  

Mootoo, Shani. Cereus Blooms at Night. Grove Press, 1996. 

The Front Bottoms. “Father.” YouTube, 14 June 2020, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOXJZ9nh9Mw. 

Language (or Distance)

The verse novel “Autobiography of Red” by Anne Carson I was especially struck by the way in which she uses different languages or rather how she lets Geryon use and understand different languages. There are interferences of German, Quechua, and Spanish during the time of Geryon’s travels.

As Geryon travels to Argentina and later to Peru it makes sense for the people around him to speak Spanish, as it is their native language. Ancash and his mother often use it to communicate with each other and Herakles also uses Spanish sporadically, often disrupting a previous conversation.

Quechua is only referred to once and Geryon inquires the meaning of Ancash’s name, which we never get to know. Spoiler alert: it means “blue” and thus introduces another color, but that is a whole other conversation.

The third language is German, which Geryon refers to when writing postcards back home. It is a language that is far away from the Spanish language and he feels alienated and insecure while using it, wondering if it was illegal to write in German and not Spanish. He mentions that he studied German philosophy in college which explains the highly stylized and old wording of the German sentences but it doesn’t explain why it feels so wrong to him to use it. I believe that he uses the language to express himself to people that mean a lot to him (his mother and professor) and that it makes him feel vulnerable, which is why he doesn’t want it to be discovered. When people use a language that you don’t understand it distances you and makes you a stranger to the conversation. I think the novel is very inventive in using different languages to portray (emotional) distance.

Gender Trouble Butterfly

Within Gender Trouble, written by Judith Butler, Newton gives a powerful message:

At its most complex, [drag] is a double inversion that says, “appearance is an illusion.” Drag says [Newtons curious personification] “my ‘outside’ appearance is feminine, but my essence ‘inside’ [the body] is masculine.” At the same time it symbolizes the opposite inversion; “my appearance ‘outside’ [my body, my gender] is masculine but my essence ‘inside’ [myself] is feminine” (Butler, 137).

From this, a very troubling and complex statement arises from the works of David Henry Wang in his play M. Butterfly, with Song stating that:

Like, I think the reason we fight wars is because we wear clothes (Wang, 55).

The “double inversion” proposed in Butler’s work stings true to the heart when Song gives the ultimate reason for gender/identity mayhem. Newton, through Butler, introduces the idea and separation between appearance and feeling along the lines of respective gender femininity and/or masculinity. The relation between Song’s position in M. Butterfly and the words of Newton within Butler’s work is that Song ‘plays’ the gender role of female, while standing as a biological male. In this situation, Newton would classify her as the first portion of his writing: “[her] ‘outside’ appearance is feminine, but [her] essence ‘inside’ [the body] is masculine.” Song believes that it is this binary between sex and gender that she encompasses as a whole, that creates issues in the world. It is this mere contradiction of appearance and biology that allow for disagreement, argument and ultimately disapproval of ‘differences.’

The very evident similarities between these two works and the gender binaries that exist and are explained within the words of the text suggest important, relevant as well as controversial binaries such as femininity versus masculinity, sex versus gender, male versus female and appearance versus feelings/emotions (‘inside’ versus ‘outside’). These binaries exposed in Gender Trouble allow one to clearly identify the important aspects of sexuality as well as gender identity within M. Butterfly and ultimately relate them to real world issues as a whole.

The suggestive material stating, “appearance is an illusion” in M. Butterfly needs the unambiguous explanation given in Gender TroubleGender Trouble is ultimately used as a lens to better understand the allusions, suggestions and binaries within M. Butterfly. These two texts are linked and intertwined ever so perfectly through meaning, connotation and annotation that they need one to understand the other. Allusion and illusion need definition to make things clear, yet definition needs allusion and illusion to make things interesting.