Societal expectations are often contradicting; especially in the sense of expressing individuality, yet being expected to conform to a societal standard of \u2018normality.\u2019 In Susan Stinson\u2019s novel, \u201cMartha Moody,\u201d there is a specific moment that articulates this contradiction when Amanda is harshly criticized for her appearance.<\/p>\n
\u201c\u201cHave you lost all Christian decency?\u201d I shrugged and kept walking, but my face burned\u2026 She turned her horse to look after me. \u201cWe pray for you.\u201d I stopped and breathed the dust I\u2019d kicked up, then turned to face her. I thought I was going to thank her with quiet sarcasm, I thought I was just tucking the long tail of John\u2019s shirt, but my hands had grown bolder since I had been on my own, and they pulled the shirt tails out of my waistband and lifted them to show Theda my white belly where in the public of the road. Theda looked at me impassively, as if she were made of salt\u2026 \u201cYou\u2019re a lunatic,\u201d then (Theda) headed into town. I didn\u2019t bother to tuck in my shirt, but let if flap the whole way home\u201d (126-127).<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0In this passage, Theda is acting out the role of society by criticizing Amanda for expressing herself simply because the way of expression is not \u2018decent\u2019 or ladylike. Not to mention the subtle stab at Amanda\u2019s large body. This is problematic because when people are told to be true to themselves, it appears to only be acceptable when a person\u2019s true self is suitable to unrealistic expectations; in this case, having a skinny body. A parallel example is the expectation of being a heterosexual individual. The contradiction is found when a non-heterosexual individual is told (by society, family, friends, etc.) to be themselves, yet since society is so heteronormative, anybody outside of that box is at a disadvantage.<\/p>\n
I felt very connected to this theme because I\u2019ve been struggling with figuring out how I\u2019m supposed to express myself freely, while also feeling like I have to fit into the heteronormative stereotype. I identify as queer, and when I first told my mom, she seemed accepting and nonjudgmental. However, in a later conversation that I had with her, she said, \u201cyou probably shouldn\u2019t be telling everyone\u201d and \u201cyou\u2019ll have to decide at some point how you want to be perceived\u201d and \u201cyou\u2019ll have to choose what you want your family to look like and who you want to marry.\u201d These comments made me feel like I should hide my true self, and instead conform to an expectation that is not meant for me. She had always taught me that it doesn\u2019t matter what other people think and that I should always be true myself, yet when my true self was different from her expectation (and society\u2019s for that matter), that message disappeared in an instant. She claimed that she was saying these things because she didn\u2019t want me to get hurt, possibly similar to how Theda said that she prays for Amanda; in a way that indirectly suggests that I change and conform. However, I have absolutely no need to change myself in order to cater to an expectation that I will never fit into. I will continue to express my true self throughout my life. And like Amanda, I will flaunt my authentic self in front of those who discourage me and carry on holding my head up high.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Societal expectations are often contradicting; especially in the sense of expressing individuality, yet being expected to conform to a societal standard of \u2018normality.\u2019 In Susan Stinson\u2019s novel, \u201cMartha Moody,\u201d there is a specific moment that articulates this contradiction when Amanda is harshly criticized for her appearance. \u201c\u201cHave you lost all Christian decency?\u201d I shrugged and … Continue reading Booooooo to Unrealistic Expectations<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4664,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[169398],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1768","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2021-blog-post"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1768","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4664"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1768"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1768\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1768"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1768"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1768"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}