{"id":2691,"date":"2025-02-20T19:12:24","date_gmt":"2025-02-21T00:12:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/?p=2691"},"modified":"2025-02-20T19:12:24","modified_gmt":"2025-02-21T00:12:24","slug":"bros-before-mangoes-queer-misogyny-in-youre-the-only-friend-i-need","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/2025\/02\/20\/bros-before-mangoes-queer-misogyny-in-youre-the-only-friend-i-need\/","title":{"rendered":"Bros Before Mangoes: Queer Misogyny in “You’re the Only Friend I Need”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0In Alejandro Heredia’s \u201cYou\u2019re the Only Friend I Need,\u201d queer teens Fabio and Noel struggle to reconcile with their burgeoning identities. At multiple points in the text, this struggle manifests in a battle between femininity and masculinity, especially in the character of Fabio. By shedding light on the misogyny of gay men, Heredia interrogates the appropriation of femininity in the queer community.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Initially, Fabio demonstrates a vehement aversion to femininity. When a group of girls makes fun of him for eating a mango, for instance, he declares that he \u201cfucking hate[s] girls\u201d (Heredia 34). In Fabio\u2019s mind, a few bullies come to represent every girl around the world. He judges using overgeneralizations, one of the many tools of the oppressor. Fabio also asserts his masculinity using the oppressive tool of violence. He gets into \u201ca fist fight with one of the popular girls at school\u201d after she calls him a slur (36). Taken symbolically, Fabio seems to spar with his own femininity. He attempts to quell rumors by pummeling the feminine energy inside himself just as he pummels his bully. However, his battle further exposes his queerness, solidifying him as a \u201cgirl-fighting maricon\u201d (36). Similarly, when he \u201cflips [the mango girls] a middle finger,\u201d he only incites more laughter (34). With each struggle against femininity, Fabio further implicates himself in sissyhood. His fight is futile. He cannot dismantle patriarchal oppression using the tools of the patriarchy.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Fabio\u2019s innate femininity blatantly contradicts his misogyny. When he and Noel start to \u201crefer to each other in feminine pronouns,\u201d the change \u201cfeels good\u201d for both of them (36). According to Noel, \u201cFabio is unapologetic about his femininity\u201d and \u201cwill throw it in anyone\u2019s face\u201d (36). Fabio even gets mad at Noel when his drag makeover does not look feminine enough. \u201cYou look like a boy. That\u2019s not the point,\u201d he says (39). These remarks and assertions seem discordant with Fabio\u2019s earlier hatred of women. How can a boy who despises girls be \u201cunapologetic about his femininity?\u201d Fabio fails to recognize the hypocrisy of his views. He appropriates femininity and feminine culture, yet he despises women. In turn, Fabio harbors a deep-seated hatred for a fundamental part of himself.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Though he fights against it, femininity fits Fabio like a glove. When he dresses in his aunt\u2019s clothing, for instance, he looks \u201cas if the blouse was made for his body exactly\u201d (38). This is because it <\/span>is<\/span><\/i>. He is meant<\/em> to embrace his feminine side, yet his misogyny prevents him from fully doing so. Even after Ren tells him to respect queer women’s gender identities, he refers to them using masculine pronouns. He refuses to immerse himself in femininity; he is not a girl, just something \u201cadjacent\u201d to one (40). Heredia suggests that Fabio can only achieve true happiness by placing himself in women’s shoes, both literally and figuratively. This is more than a radical form of empathy; it represents radical self-acceptance. Fabio can only settle into his identity when he discards the patriarchy\u2019s rules. Queer self-acceptance hinges upon a new, more feminist way of being.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Through the character of Fabio, Heredia suggests that gay men cannot comfortably reconcile with their femininity without first confronting their misogyny. By extension, his story implies that the liberation of the queer community cannot be wrought without the liberation of women, too. This intersectional approach to activism acknowledges the multiplicity of our own identities. We contain \u201cmultitudes,\u201d and we must strive to accept each part of ourselves, whether masculine, feminine, or something in between (38).<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0In Alejandro Heredia’s \u201cYou\u2019re the Only Friend I Need,\u201d queer teens Fabio and Noel struggle to reconcile with their burgeoning identities. At multiple points in the text, this struggle manifests in a battle between femininity and masculinity, especially in the character of Fabio. By shedding light on the misogyny of gay men, Heredia … Continue reading Bros Before Mangoes: Queer Misogyny in “You’re the Only Friend I Need”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5596,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[346812],"tags":[346832,346829,346833,93596,346799,1077,346830,346831,346834,93513],"class_list":["post-2691","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2025-class-post","tag-adolescence","tag-alejandro-heredia","tag-coming-of-age","tag-drag","tag-femininity","tag-feminism","tag-masculinity","tag-misogyny","tag-queer-liberation","tag-shame"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2691","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5596"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2691"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2691\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2691"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2691"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.dickinson.edu\/everythinginbetween\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2691"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}