a “capital L” Lesbian phenomenology

“A Note about Gender, or Why Is This White Guy Writing about Being a Lesbian? … Today I live in the world as a man, even while my internal sense of gender is as a genderqueer, neither man nor woman. At the same time, I have no desire to abandon or disown my long history as a girl, a tomboy, a dyke, a woman, a butch” (Clare xxvii).

tatiana de la tierra was a latina lesbian poet. While she wrote many shorter pieces, one of her main works was For the Hard Ones: A Lesbian Phenomenology, a collection of poems—both in Spanish and English, giving a dual translation of each poem. I could write hundreds of pages on her work, but there is one poem in particular that connects to Clare’s words, “The ‘Others’ of Us”.

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The “Others” of Us

there are “women” who were born “female” who are “lesbian” “women”.

there are “women” who were born “female” who are non-“feminine” “lesbians”.

there are “women” who were born not- “women” who became “women” and are “lesbians”.

there are “lesbians” who were born “female” who became not-“woman” (and continue being “lesbians”).

there are “women” who baptize themselves as “lesbians” who are also non-“lesbians”.

there are “women” who are almost “lesbians” –they fantasize about being with “women” and they experiment, to no avail;

they are not capable of being “lesbians”.

there are “lesbians” who are Lesbians.

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(de la tierra 49)

tatiana de la tierra’s work functions as a theory about what lesbianism is and who it is for. Her general argument is that: whoever wants to be a “lesbian” can be—there is no binary, no definition. Her thesis for the entire work (not just this poem) is that lesbianism is created by those that identify as lesbians, forming a collective identity that is inclusive and open. Specifically in this poem, the Spanish name for it is, “L@s otr@s de nosotr@s: Entre comillas”  — in English… The others of us: between quotation marks. “entre comillas” is important because it draws the reader’s eye to the quotation marks used around “women” “lesbians” “female”  “feminine”. The use of these quotation marks is where I am drawing the connection to Clare.

The quotes act as a remind to the heteropatriarchal definitions of these words—both Clare and tatiana refute these definitions and seek to create their own. I think an analysis of the works cannot be one way, one cannot be used solely as a lens for another, because they work in equal conversation. Clare defines gender within his own framework, saying “Today I live in the world as a man”—he speaks from his own transition experience as a genderqueer person (xxvii). And tatiana speaks of all those who identify as lesbians—including Clare.

Importantly, tatiana never uses the word genderqueer—instead, she defines gender through “not-‘woman’”. I believe there is a power in creating a definition based on separation rather than identity. Let me explain further, to say “not-‘woman’” means to define yourself as something you are not, and not necessarily define yourself as what you are. Clare echoes this when he discusses genderqueerness— “[I am] neither man nor woman” (xxvii), but something else—what he goes further to define as being genderqueer.  Clare, like tatiana writes, “continues being ‘lesbian’” because that is how he wants to live (de la tierra 49).

The rules and definition of gender that are immediate in most peoples’ minds, are “shaped by misogyny, transphobia, homophobia, and shaped again by white supremacy, capitalism, and ableism” (Clare xxviii). Both Clare and tatiana “yearn for the day when all the rules” that create and define exclude gender—“come crashing down” (Clare xxviii). Their works in combination offer new definitions, new ways of knowing and living—Clare focuses on smashing these interlocking power structures and in the same way, tatiana focuses on Lesbians (note the uppercase). Their fight is the same.