Dirty-haired boy, my rascal, my sacrifice. Never
an easy dream. I watch him wrestle my shadow, eyelids
trembling, one fist ready for me.
Sacrifice is an often repeated message in Jones’ work. These lines reveal irrepressible struggle, creating the impression that “sacrifice” is not necessarily a choice. While canonically within the context of the biblical father/son struggle, I read it differently. To live truely gay men exchange one happiness for another, the pretend bliss of being closeted and accepted for that of their joy being known. “Eyelids trembling” is an example of the contrast, the struggle Jones draws. “Trembling” as a word often implies fear, but eyelids may tremble also when one is falling asleep, fighting it, falling. “Never an easy dream”. Fear as well as rest. The “ready” fist could be prepared for attack or protection of the narrator; perceived protection of self expressed in striking out at him, he who draws back the blinds over vulnerability. These lines can be interpreted to convey the intersection of bliss and utter violence, physical and not, that can be within gay love.