“boy in a stolen evening gown”
This poem (pg. 7) by Saeed Jones holds a clear duality representing his identity: “the improbable lady” and “the boy wearing nothing.” The language that pertains to the lady is mysterious, powerful, and seemingly close to nature; the dress’ sequins “…sagging my saunter into overgrown grass.” The allusion to nature to me presents how the speaker’s feminine performance not only comes natural to him but makes him feels just as elusive as nature can be. The speaker’s relationship to this other man, whoever he may be, helps him keep this persona and the protection it gives him by “…(tracing) the chiffon body I’ve borrowed.” The phrasing connects back to the title in that this evening gown, this identity the speaker has carved, isn’t truly his in his eyes: it’s something that can easily be peeled back. Underneath the dress is just a boy; gone is the mysticism of the lady. The only other comparison to the boy used at the very end is “a negligee of gnats.” The delicate material of the negligee combined with the nature of gnats- annoying and clouded together, but never whole- alludes to how the speaker feels about his true identity. Behind the insurmountable lady is a vulnerable boy who isn’t sure who he is yet. The man he’s sleeping with that is undoing his dress is also undoing the protection Jones has around the boy he still is on the inside. One could think that Jones trusts this man enough to show him his vulnerability and true nature. However, the man is referred to as “sir who is no one, sir who is yet to come,” which feels like the opposite. It doesn’t really matter who the man is, but rather his role in removing the gown, becomes in of itself part of the speaker’s performance. It’s the existence of these two identities, both just as much “Saeed Jones”, that speaks to how the way we present ourselves to different people often has to do with what makes us feel safe and/or loved in that moment, from emotionally gutting experiences such as the poem narrates to the shoes you choose to wear out one night.
I love this analysis. “The allusion to nature to me presents how the speaker’s feminine performance not only comes natural to him but makes him feels just as elusive as nature can be” is such a great way of reading this. Nature can be beautiful and feminine, but also dangerous and untameable. Off topic but fun fact, in nature, animals like swans and penguins are gay! Queerness is so rooted in nature, its amazing. Yay!
This analysis is amazing! It makes me think of why the community community loves drag so much. They are able to present a version of themselves that they might feel more comfortable in, which reminds me of Jones’s NYT essay. Even if they are unsure, like you mentioned, that is not what the rest of the world sees. It seems like the removing of the dress has to happen consistently, both literally and metaphorically for the speaker.