“I lie when I write that home is being a dyke in dyke community. Rather, home is particular wild and ragged beaches, specific kinds of trees and berry brambles, the exact meander of the river I grew up near, the familiar sounds and sights of a dying logging and fishing town. Exile is the hardest because I have irrevocably lost that place as actual home (p 32).”
Clare connects himself to nature and the impact that had on his life growing up in Oregon. In every part of the book we can see the special connection he had with the landscape and wildlife of the area, from the long hikes to admiring the moss and lichen. In this specific passage, Clare emphasizes his connection to nature using a repetitive structure, describing features of nature he values while explaining his loss of that connection in what he explains as his exile. He describes exile as “not only loss, but a sense of allegiance and connection- however ambivalent – to the place left behind (p 35)” Clare makes it very clear to the reader that he could have lived his life in his hometown, but had he wanted a fulfilling life, not hiding his identity, he needed to leave. It is a battle between the love for a region, and the need for a gratifying life.
He is shedding a light on the push for queer people to move away from their hometowns and their lives and move to more urban places where they know they will be accepted. It seems like it is a choice to move but not all queer people want to live in big cities, its the draw of not having to hide that brings people to a place they might not necessarily want to live. With being queer, there is an implied sense of having to forfeit your true home to live a life true to yourself, or forfeit your identity to live your life in the area you chose, not necessarily the space chosen for queer people.
I really liked your analysis because I wrote about almost the same, but based on another quote, and it was very interesting to see how in the whole book we can find different sections saying different things but referring to the same feeling of identity. At the same time, I totally agree with the importance of that natural landscape the author feels attached to because it has been described for many pages, and that can only mean that, as you said, he loved that region.
I think that this analysis is quite interesting, as there is definitely a sense that as a queer person you are pushed to move to the city to enjoy life and “live life to the fullest”. However leaving home is often a heart wrenching experience for people, and as a person who has grown up in a more rural area, I would love to stay in one my entire life, but there is also this sense that it is impractical while trying to live as a queer individual.