Wings=freedom=fish!!

In “Boy at Threshold” there is a continuation of the motif of freedom in the symbolism of both the open door as well as the wings. These wings are shown to be bent back by some “dark gust” which could represent fear. The body language of bent back wings parallels that of an animal with ears drawn backward to signify distress or uncertainty. In this context, I believe that the speaker is fearful or distressed by this idea of freedom as, with that, comes a lack of familiarity. This fear is why many people stay in abusive situations, or those who have been abused continue that cycle; because it’s predictable and familiar. The speaker also illuminates a clear contrast between being “your blood” and being “dangerous” in the second stanza. This furthers the concept that, to the speaker, remaining a part of this (potentially unaccepting) family is considered safer than spreading his wings and exploring that concept of freedom. Later in the poem, the speaker describes himself being “drag[ged]” out of his doorframe and pulled to freedom by the air (14). The wind is a very common symbol of freedom and this use of it reinforces that idea.

The motifs of freedom and the symbol of wings are also employed earlier in Saeed Jones’s collection in the poem “Daedalus, After Icarus” wherein one man (Daedalus) walks along the beach with a pair of wings strapped to his arms. In this poem wings are very clearly correlated with freedom as a woman calls down to her son to ask the man if she can have a pair of wings so she can “finally leave [his] father,”(11). These lines in the poem further solidify the symbolism that connects wings and freedom. Throughout this poem, there are a “flock” of boys surrounding the man as he walks the shoreline imitating him, pretending to have wings. Daedalus, as Icarus’s father, knows freedom can come at a cost but that is a lesson the boys must learn for themselves. For this reason, he does not acknowledge the boys as they have fun mimicking him, rather he very suddenly jumps into the ocean. This only prompts the boys to follow him, leading them to shift their desires to be fish now instead of birds. These are two animals commonly associated with freedom, so the relation between freedom and these boys still stands. This also serves to deepen the motif of freedom throughout this collection and highlight the danger of freedom as the waves crash over their thrashing bodies.

Trees are not all you’ll find: Boy at the Edge of Woods and the (really) complicated relationship within

My interpretation of this poem presents a forbidden age-gap homosexual relationship and the ‘woods’ is the only place they could be intimate. It’s a place hidden away from the rest of the outside world, where they can explore their relationship; woods throughout folklore can be seen as a place for transformation; perhaps this speaker engaging in this relationship represents them growing up/maturing in a way separate from their biological age. There was a contradiction from the initial “gasp” and “god damn” to the action of the zipper being pulled or forced up; momentary release but now they literally must put everything away and pretend nothing happened (8).  Additionally, the use of “tongue” instead of teeth suggests a deeper form of intimacy that is present in this relationship (8). Furthermore, the use of “leaves referring to the lover represents a sense of choice- based on their maturity/age, they have more autonomy in their life and who they present to the outside world (8). The speaker might not have the ability to make that decision yet based on the age difference. There are also descriptions of “pine needles” and “brown leaves” and how they are on/in the speaker’s hair and body (8). These items are only described after the lover leaves the woods, which could be telling how this relationship has resulted in a loss of innocence; these elements of the woods disheveled his appearance that he now has to fix before he reenters the real world. Finally, the repetition of “leaves” could indicate the quick turnaround of the intimate moment; they could not afford to enjoy each other’s company. Overall, the consistent descriptions of the woods could represent the forbidden nature of the relationship.

There’s a “Dress” in all of us.

In “A Poet’s Boyhood at the Burning Crossroads”, the word “drag” appears twice. Both in the context of racial violence, the act of holding or pulling someone down. In the poem “Drag,” the word “drag” now has a different meaning. It means to cross-dress. To perform gender. How can a word originally associated with violence and constraint come to represent such liberation and self-expression? It is of great irony that we queer people are so good at turning pain into pageantry. We say queer joy is resistance. We laugh because it’s the only way we can keep going. There’s a dazzling kind of alchemy in that: to take what was meant to erase us and turn it into something radiant. As Jones writes:

“From here, I see a city that doesn’t know it’s already drowning,” and “How old were you when America taught you that being who you are could get you killed?” The reality that you see, the society that you’re fully aware of the oppression, and it’s you who chooses to put a glamor into it. Make it gorgeous, make it legendary, make it something of your own, and through “the dress” is one of the many ways Saeed Jones did it. The dress, that performs gender, “the dress” that acts as a symbol of perceived weakness, and “the dress” that acts as a means of creating a powerful, new identity. But then, something uncanny happens. The dress becomes animated.

“The dress begins to move without me.”
“I don’t even know what I am in this dress.”

The poem “Drag” doesn’t give us a neat, triumphant arc. Instead, it gives us something more raw and honest: the complicated, often painful, and vulnerable process of transformation. He is caught between empowerment and confusion. Wearing the dress, he feels a kind of becoming, but also estrangement. Is this freedom or another kind of confinement? Is this who I really am, or just who I’m allowed to be? 

And yet, within this instability, there is something unstoppable blooming. Little does he know, inside the pupa of a caterpillar, is the most gorgeous butterfly, and inside each of us queer people, often the most unique “dress” of our own that cannot be stopped. As Saeed Jones wrote: 

“Slow like some-

thing that knows it cannot be stopped,(…)” 

“God’s” Will

Something interesting I found was that Boy in a Whalebone Corset started and ended with mentions of locusts. At the start of the poem the grass is compared to a “sleeping swarm of locust” and at the end of the poem the night is said to be “made of locusts.” This repeated phrasing of “swarms of locusts” is reminiscent of the ten plagues in the Bible. In Exodus, the Egyptians are subjected to ten plagues until Pharaoh agrees to set the Israelites free. The plague of locusts specifically, is the eighth plague followed by the plague of darkness and the death of a first born. Parallels can be drawn between the father and Pharaoh in this poem, similar to how Pharaoh wouldn’t let the Israelites be free, the father refuses to allow the boy to be free to be himself and wear what he wants.  

I find it interesting that locusts specifically were chosen as a descriptor as they are known for destruction. Which mirrors that of the destruction the boy’s clothes are facing in the hands of his father. Continuing with the plague theme, the final plague was the death of a first born. While the boy didn’t physically die in this poem. One can argue that his soul did when his father burned his clothes thus essentially killing off his identity.  

I think the meaning behind the implication of religion in this poem is perhaps the reasoning behind the father’s discontent and disapproval of his son’s clothes. Which is further emphasized by the irony of the father burning the son’s clothes, and their smoke “being mistaken for Old Testament God.” Ending the poem on this note drives home the assumption of religion being the guiding factor of why these clothes are unacceptable and why wearing such items needs to be punished. 

The Freedom of Drowning- Saeed Jones 9/18

Within the poem, “Pretending To Drown” there’s an overall theme of wetness that surrounds the work. With lines such as “burst upon the water”, “on the shore”, and “the lake saw you”. Mentioning these large bodies of water made me think of multiple ideas, first is freedom. Big bodies of water are so vast and large that it makes it possible for creatures to hide and travel as they want. With that comes a sense of liberty and I think the reason why Saeed chooses a body of water to be the meeting place of these two lovers was because of how it can also be inaccessible to people who may be afraid or have never swum before. There comes a level of danger to the water because of how huge it is. There are unknown creatures, he states, “our feet touched a snapping turtle, every shadow a water moccasin”. This danger is both literal but also metaphorical. The next theme is defiance. As there is danger in the water, there is also immense danger in these lovers being caught together or having sexual relations. The line “our clothes begged us to be good boys again” shows this more internal conflict within these people with feeling as though what they are doing is immoral. However, even with these conflicted feelings the boys continue as lust and love takes over. The final idea was the literal sense of wetness. The body of water represents the freedom within them to explore themselves and their bodies in relation to each other. The lines “I resurfaced, slick grin, knowing glance; you pushed me back under. I pretended to drown, then swallowed you whole.” With the title of the poem being in relation to these sentences indicates how the poem may be more explicit with the relationship between these two.

Queer acceptance in “Boy in a Whalebone Corset”

For my first blog post, I focused on the poem titled “Boy in a Whalebone corset.” The poem details a scene in which the boy’s father is burning the boy’s “feminine” belongings as the boy watches from the window, recovering from the physically and mentally violent attack. One aspect of the poem that especially stood out to me was the repetition of the phrase “Corset still on” (12). Despite the devasting and frankly disturbing scene that is being described, I try to find a more hopeful meaning within this line. I interpret this line as even in the aftermath of this horrific and traumatic event in the name of “Old Testament God” (12) as said by Jones, the corset remains on as a symbol representing the boy’s unchanged feelings and truth. The father’s actions have not made the boy “less queer” or “less feminine”, as the boy’s queerness and sense of identity remains.

I think of the poem as a memory or reflection of the boy’s past trauma of this event that took place at the hands of his own father and in the name of religion. He is reflecting on this event in order to accept who he is. By using insults likely said by his father such as “w****” and using descriptive words for the “sissy clothes” (“Something pink in his fist, negligee, lace, fishnet, w****”), and of course the phrase “corset still on”, the boy is reclaiming his power of words and actions used to demean him and accepting himself as who he is. This is why I like to think of the line “corset still on” and the poem overall as hopeful, as it means that the boy is reflecting on this event because he has survived. His queerness, or in this case his corset, remains on.

Boy at the edge of the Woods; Free write

I noticed that the language in the poem was very interconnected with nature and natural disasters. All of the descriptors were very earthy, for example the word leaves was used three times. Twice for the usage of going one place to another and once for the  plural of leaf. The connection between the boy at the edge of the wood and nature was very obvious to me. I knew there was a deeper meaning to the woods alluded to in the poem. This got me to thinking of what woods and Forrest and natural spaces could mean. I immidialaty connected it to how Nathaniel Hawthorne alluded to the Forrest in The Scarlet Letter. In Nathaniel’s novel the Forrest was almost a portal into another world (Hawthorne Chpt 18.), a shade of leaves to cover them from the judging eyes of the towns folk. I really connected this to the poem. The Forrest is an out of the ordinary space for sexual play leading to the assumption this was secret, a roundezvous, an affair. But the wording boy lead me to think of young love, its passionate quick, a puppy love of sorts. I image two boys taken with each other that meet repeatedly at the edge of the wood away from the eyes that judge or forbid there relations, or would forbid if they knew what the relation entailed. Away from the “burning house”, this stuck out to me the cool of nature, the safety, the growth, the beauty compared to a burning man made structure, the harsh outside world, the world outside of the “portal”. I will assume that the house was not actually burning but take it as a metaphor for a heated environment a hostile one. It may represent an environment that does not accept this love the boys have. What I am trying to illustrate is that the connection between nature and safety as well as the word leaves makes the poem what it is. This is the end of a boys passionate rendezvous and the safety of the natural world away from people creates a world meant for him. And reality sets in at the end to return to his hostile environment that does not accept him or find him natural. The fleeting moment of Comfert they both have is only temporary as the poem itself begins at the end, he closes his zipper, his tongue leaves, leaves me alone. What an emphasis on the word alone as well a full pause, the emotion attached to it is so isolate. The excitement is over and we get to feel how desperate the author is to stay in the closure of the woods with the boy.

After the First Shot

The mention of the speaker’s body from “coatless” (line 2) and “bare feet” (line 5) enforces this idea that he wants the readers to feel present, which also carries over until line 12. However, after line 12 it feels like the speaker is using less descriptive details about his environment showing the lack of interest they have in the world. He is experiencing this touch of reality that forces him to act on his survival instincts, like how his father is abusing him and about not wanting to ever deal with that again. Also, the speaker sounds exhausted with the way they said,” Each mile / birthing three more,” but also revealing the kind of distance he needs in order to get it out of his system (line 6-7). His frustration of conforming into the presentation that his father sets for him and what society has placed upon him could also be included to his crash out. The speaker says,”There are sorrel horses / herding inside me. / In a four legged night,” (lines 8-10) which uses a metaphor to highlight how he has adrenaline like horses, and is hinting of wanting to stand their ground. Lines 14 & 15 provide this line break and enjambment to allow the hesitation the speaker has over his life, he thinks, “what I thought was the end / of myself. To answer”. This creates tension & anticipation over the next bullet that speaker plans on using to end his life as the title of the poem “After the First Shot” could indicates this. However, when the speaker says, “your rifle’s last question:” (line 16) could indicate the speaker’s father as the shooter. The last two lines suggest a compromise between the father and the speaker as one side will never accept the speaker’s identity, and making the speaker feel like his end is through this second shot.

Boy at Edge of Woods

Boy at edge of the woods is a shorter poem out of the bunch, so I have chosen to focus on the poem as a whole. The poem has more sexual undertones in comparison to the others. It seems to be more of a meaningless hookup for the other party. Saeed Jones or whomever he is writing from the perception of seems to feel defeated and dirty (literally and metaphorically) in a sense after the interaction. Jones or the persona he writes about has a feeling of not satisfaction, but emptiness.  The other man leaves the writer alone for the aftermath of it all, which I’d assume to be upsetting.  The abandonment is just as significant as the encounter itself. Possibly this was done for an escape initially but leads to the feeling of being underwhelmed. The sense of searching for relief or distraction is there, but the poem closes with the return to the “burning house”. This “burning house” seems to me an unhappiness with his home and possibly even with his parents since many other poems in this series alluded to parental issues.  Ultimately, I think this poem is really about the emptiness that follows when physical desire is used as an escape from deeper pain. The language makes this clear when the speaker returns to the “burning house,” an image that suggests unresolved turmoil at home and perhaps even family conflict, as hinted at in other poems where Jones alludes to parental issues. The encounter itself may seem like relief in the moment, but the aftermath shows how fleeting and hollow that comfort is. This connects to the poem as a whole because the short length (only one stanza) mirrors the brevity of the experience, quick and intense, but leaving behind only silence and loneliness.

Corset still. On

The lines that I really focused one were from “Father in my room looking for more sissy clothes to burn” down to “column of smoke mistaken for Old Testament God.”(12) I think these lines are about religion’s role in homophobia and hatred as well as familial relationships. The fathers actions (searching, burning, believing the son is a whore) show a pretty intense attempt to enforce gender norms. The destroying of clothing is deeper than just the clothing, it seems he is trying to erase his son. The signs of religion (Sodom, Locusts, Old Testament God) try to justify the fathers hatred through his religion. As someone with a background in religion, I am aware that these are biblical symbols for punishment (aka divine wrath). By connecting the fathers cruelty to religious symbols, the poem seems to disagree with how religion is used as a cover up for prejudice. Now the corset is a huge part of this poem and I am really focusing on the line “Corset still on, nothing else, I’m at the window;… (12)”. The corset is restrictive (tight, bruising) but also empowering (his self identity). It carries physical pain but also defiance. The line “corset still on”(12) is so powerful because it shows endurance. I connected this poem to other poems by Danez Smith because their poems often talk about family, homophobia and religion. Also not to get WAYYY too deep but the bible. All in all, I think the poem suggests queer survival IS an act of resistance.