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Letter Set #2 Improved Letter


Solar And Wind Costs Continue To Fall As Power Becomes Cleaner

The climate will change until the sun is extinguished and all life on Earth will vanish.

According to the letter “Electric energy vs. fossil fuels”, it was highlighted that in 2017 the United States derives 3.1 percent of its energy from wind and solar energy (Aug.7). However, in 2012 we were deriving 1.6 percent of our energy from renewable resources. Under those circumstances, if the contributions of wind and solar doubles every five years, how long will it take for it to replace most other forms of energy?  

Coupled with this, the letter accentuates that the Earth’s climate has been changing forever – which is true. Alterations in climate can take hundreds to millions of years, and climate change can be a change in the Earth’s climate or a change in weather for a particular area. Yet, the main factors in climate change are small, predictable changes in the Earth’s orbit that alter the amount of sunlight striking the Earth, and the greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. For example, orbital changes predict that Earth should be slowly cooling over the next 20,000 years. While on the other hand, there is evidence that the Earth’s temperature is rising instead of cooling. This can be seen when it comes to the concentration of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Carbon dioxide – a greenhouse gas that is more abundant and lingers in the atmosphere for a longer time – has risen by 40 percent in the last decade. It is distinctly the most probable cause of the observed global warming that has been more directly and negatively impacting the daily lives of numerous people around the world.

The climate will change until the sun is extinguished and all life on Earth will vanish. Nevertheless, life as we know it will vanish much sooner if we do not curb our carbon emissions by becoming better informed on global warming and on the proactive daily actions that can be done.

Letter set #1 Improved letter

It is so easy to blow off health care reform if you are healthy. But, for people with chronic conditions, every day is a fight for life.  Millions of Americans suffer from chronic illnesses. Odds are, one day someone in your family will suffer from one too. Do you want them to have health insurance?

I have applied for long-term health care insurance five times and been denied five times. That means if I fall over tomorrow mourning and need an ambulance, I will have to pay for it all.  The ambulance alone runs a bill of at least $1000. Then Once I’m admitted I will have to pay for everything that happens. Every test, scan, and conversation. Do you want your relatives to suffer the same fate because you’re too lazy to care about healthcare reform?

How can the “best country on earth” not afford healthcare to people with pre-existing conditions.  People like me in Canada go for care and don’t pay a dime.

Someone that lives a life like mine knows the pain of wondering if they will have enough money for the next hospital visit. Do you want their children to be stuck with massive healthcare debt because their parents had ALS?

Pennsylvania, I know how crazy life can be. But please think about me, your family, and others like me before you forget about health care reform. This reform will make it so the insurance company can’t turn me and others like me down.  Every day that the reform doesn’t happen I lose a little more strength and a little more hope.

Letter Set 3 Rewrite

Moving forward with the newly proposed green energy policies is not a good idea. The entire world is still dependant on oil and natural gas, and it would be inefficient to switch to a more expensive form of energy. For example, solar energy can cost the US household around 19 cents per kWh more than gas or oil. Not to mention the vast amount of land solar farms need to even produce this amount of energy. Currently, only around thirteen percent of U.S. energy consumed was from “renewable sources.” The sheer amount of infrastructure needed to create a 100% renewable energy economy would bankrupt the recovering U.S. economy strapped with huge budget deficits and 28 trillion dollars in debt. Additionally, climate scientists frequently point to the fact that deregulation will lead to an increase in emissions. However, due to the previous administrations’ deregulation of domestic energy production, natural gas was increasingly becoming a larger and larger proportion of energy consumed, saving the US about 705 Million Metric Tons of C02 emissions during 2019-2020. Investment in alternative energy sources is good, and a gradual and affordable transition to green energy makes sense. But, a massive economic overhaul in favor of green energy in the current U.S. economic climate would be inefficient.

Letter Set #1 Revisions

To improve the first letter of letter set 1, I would entirely remove the third paragraph. The author makes it clear that they are physically struggling in the second paragraph. The third paragraph expands on this point by describing the specific symptoms that he experiences. Although these descriptions do strengthen his claim that his health is failing, they do little to support the overall argument that healthcare reform is necessary. Because there is a limited word count for the letter, I found these extra details unnecessary.  I would replace this paragraph by drawing attention to the prevalence of chronic diseases in the United States:


According to the CDC, 6 in 10 adults in the United States have at least one chronic disease, and 4 in 10 have more than one. Therefore, over half of adults in America have a chronic illness that may affect their ability to get health care. Those who are lucky enough to not have such a disease are likely to know someone who does. It may be tempting to ignore health care reform if you are healthy now, but there’s a high likelihood that you or a loved one will struggle with a chronic illness later in your life. Therefore, health care reform should be an issue that concerns all Americans.

Originally the author told residents of Pennslyvania to “think about [him] and others,” but he didn’t explain how healthcare reform would be personally beneficial to healthy readers. He depicts how he has struggled with disease and healthcare, which does encourage sympathy from the audience. However, the author could have created a more compelling overall argument if he had combined his appeal for sympathy with a logical line of reasoning. This new paragraph makes the logical argument that healthcare reform is an issue that applies to all Americans, and the claim is supported with statistics from the CDC. Rather than just feeling bad for the author of the letter, readers would consider how their own ability to get healthcare would be affected if they were one of the 6 in 10 adults with a chronic disease.


Letter Set #3 Revision

The liberal agenda is a problem for our communities. Switching to clean energy has a multitude of consequences for our citizens and the middle class. Propane is essential to everyday life within our communities, and many poor folks will be unable to afford wind and solar alternatives. This in turn will force the middle class to help pay for the poorer people, which will also hurt the middle class in the long run. Although switching to clean energy can help reduce our environmental footprint, the consequences outweigh the rewards.

As an alternative to the clean energy issue, one thing we can do to improve our community is mass recycling. This will serve as an alternative to the propane issue. By improving our recycling practices, we can improve our environmental footprint while also maintaining a strong and stable middle class. We can also start slowly limiting our use of propane rather than getting rid of it all at once. In the future, clean energy will need to be implemented, but as a solution in the short term this serves well. This is a solution that doesn’t hurt the middle class, while also helping to protect our environment.

Not even noon yet

It’s not noon yet but I feel like today is a “surprising” day. I actually woke up early to do extra reading. Which is good. Although I don’t think that will happen very often. Then my roommate lost her key, so we had to look for that. Then my math teacher end class early so I was able to grab lunch quickly. I’ve never seen the dining hall so empty.

It is only noon so I’m sure other stuff will happen today, and I really hope one of the things that happen later today is we find the key because I really really don’t want to replace the keys.


Today, I took a test on 40 basic characters for Chinese.

My enst class is full of reading assignments :v

Blog Post Example

This morning, I went to my biology class and took an Italian test. After the test, I got coffee to reward myself for completing the test.

Todays Activities

This morning the lacrosse team and I attended the 9/11 service done by the ROTC members on campus, it was very well done and we all really enjoyed it. After that I had an 8 AM lift with the team, and because we were at the service the lift ran late so I was a couple of minutes late to my 9:30 class.

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