I grew up in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, at the center of New York City. My childhood was colored by subway rides, loud neighborhood bars, and cultural excursions with my mother on the weekends. This week I was given the opportunity to talk, over Zoom, with two students from the American University of Sharjah and a fellow Dickinson student. None of the girls I talked to grew up in a similar place to me; one was from a small town in New Jersey, another from a rural town in the UAE, and finally one who lived in Virginia as a child before moving to the UAE. In the past two weeks of living here in Carlisle, I have already been frequently reflecting on how different it is here in comparison to my childhood neighborhood. It has been a nice adjustment to greet strangers on the street with smiles and “good mornings,” and a slightly harder one to walk the twenty minutes to Walmart for most basic necessities. As I have been processing this substantial difference in my own life, I have now been able to compare my lived experiences with my exchange program peers.
On the basic level of our childhoods, there were profound differences which we discussed. I have had two cats, the largest animals we could comfortably fit in my apartment since I was five years old; alternatively, my peer Hind, from the UAE, showed us a picture of her camel as her sentimental item from home. While pet species is not incredibly significant, it stood out to me as a simple example of how different people’s lives are depending on their home and their culture. Later in our conversation, we discussed our transitions to college and residential dorm life. Hind and Mahra spoke about their experiences living at AUS, and how, when compared to other schools in the UAE, it is liberal. An example they mentioned was their curfew time of midnight in their dorms, and that other universities have much earlier curfews than them. This stood out to me as a notable difference between our experiences here in the United States and their experiences in the UAE. While there may be colleges here in the U.S. with dorm curfews, it is most definitely not as widespread a practice as it is there. I have always considered college to be my next step on the path to becoming an adult; the training wheels for living on one’s own. Society has told me that since I am no longer living with my parents, I must be responsible for myself, but also that I can make my own decisions, even if they are questionable. The fact that college students, even seniors like Hind, in the UAE have a curfew stood out as a profound difference to me on a cultural level regarding our status as autonomous adults.
Furthermore, one of my exchange partners from the UAE spoke about Westerners’ perception of her country as a highly urban metropolis full of the world’s tallest skyscrapers. She was, in fact, from a rural town, not a giant metropolitan city. She was able to dispel my assumptions about what it would be like to grow up in the UAE, and we were able to discuss the differences between living in a rural area and New York City. My view of what life is like in the UAE has been greatly expanded by talking to both Hind and Mahra, and I truly think that learning about their lives, in contrast to mine, will assist me in this course when I am putting myself into the shoes of others who have experienced what I have not. Lastly, although this does not answer the prompt, the most powerful part of our Zoom call was learning how much we have in common. Despite all our differences, I found it incredibly easy to talk with and relate to Hind and Mahra, and I think we were able to connect on a personal level despite being halfway across the world from each other.
The Lower East Side of Manhattan, where I have lived my entire life (Gotham Magazine, https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fgothammag.com%2Flower-east-side-nyc-neighborhood-guide&psig=AOvVaw0_FG-5y8v-PXZa9CVzY4AH&ust=1694291606143000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CBEQjhxqFwoTCMjBkp7um4EDFQAAAAAdAAAAABAI)
Sharjah, where my exchange partners attend school. (The Independent, https://www.independent.co.uk/travel/north-africa-middle-east/uae/sharjah-city-travel-guide-best-hotels-city-restaurants-things-to-do-a8882856.html)
My boy cat, Dodger.
My girl cat, Lissie.
September 9, 2023 at 12:01 pm
Hi Evelyn! Thank you for this thoughtful reflection, I had a wonderful time speaking with you during our introductory meeting. Your description of a childhood in Manhattan is so intricately detailed, it’s making me miss it as thought it was my own. Your transition from a city as metropolitan as New York to the more ‘walkable’ Carlisle, as you put it, has me drawing my own parallels between Abu Dhabi and Sharjah. I, too, find it jarring how smaller cities can make everything feel so far when you have to rely on your own two feet, rather than another form of transport. You also raised a great point about the difference in college lifestyles in the U.S. and the UAE and how, culturally, we prepare for them differently, too. So, my question for you is this: How early in your life did you begin to mentally prepare for the independence that comes with studying away from your family?
I look forward to following the rest of your blog, and here’s to many more great conversations!
September 9, 2023 at 2:24 pm
Evelyn, I really enjoyed the insights you provided. I find it interesting how you mentioned the American perspective on the UAE and how your peer discussed her experience as entirely different from what people usually assume. This is an assumption we all carry about any place different from what we are used to. I had my fair share of assumptions about what it may be like growing up in the US. During my meeting with some of the Dickinson students, I learned that many of us, regardless of where we grew up, tended to have many more similarities than differences. I find it interesting how we jump at the differences and rarely acknowledge that our unique experiences lie so many commonalities. Just fruit for thought, but perhaps a camel and a cat are similar in that they represent the presence and importance of animals in both your lives? Thanks!
– Yusr
September 9, 2023 at 6:16 pm
Evelyn, this is a great post! I found it very interesting that we both had very similar shocks and conversations within our groups, as a lot of what we talked about was College life, independence, as well as the misconceptions of where we all come from. I also found it very interesting in the different ways that students from AUS and ourselves as Americans students have pretty different conceptualizations when it comes to college and independence. Independence to students in the States seems to be more about freedom, and having the ability to sort of do what you want when you want, and taking on that responsibility, whereas maybe it’s a bit more controlled for students in the UAE. Did your partners from the UAE say that they felt more controlled as students compared to your explanation of student life in the States? A big part of what my group talked about within this was the aspect of family, and breaking away from your family life when you go to school. Many AUS students in my group said that they still had a very close connection with their family, often returning home or even planning to move back to their hometowns once they finish college. In the States, there is more this idea of starting your own life when you hit adulthood and college, and sort of going from there, usually departing from your hometown. It’s even more interesting how students from the States are almost trained from their younger, teenage years to start having this “Independent mentality”. Did your partners comment on their family lives as they departed for college? We also touched on the same ideas as your group when it came to the glorification of Dubai, and how we often miss out on the more suburban, and rural aspects of the city. Im sure you understand that being from New York, as people normally see only the big city. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, you wrote a great post!
September 10, 2023 at 8:19 pm
Thanks for writing this post! I liked how you talked about your cultural differences with your partners from the UAE. What stood out to me was the comparison between your pet cat and your group member’s pet camel. I agree with you when you state that your view on the UAE has been broadened by your group members, I too imagined the UAE to be a big city with tall skyscrapers, but never envisioned people living in smaller neighborhoods and towns like some of us do.