“ To this crib I always took my doll; human beings must love something, and in the dearth of worthier objects of affection, I contrived to find a pleasure in loving and cherishing a faded graven image, shabby as a miniature scarecrow. It puzzles me now to remember with what absurd sincerity I doted on this little toy; half-fancying it alive and capable of sensation, I could not sleep unless it was folded in my night-gown; and when it lay there safe and warm, I was comparatively happy, believing it to be happy likewise.” (Brontë 43)
Upon first reading Jane Eyre, the motivations of the titular character appear to be a mystery to the reader. What does Jane want? Why is she telling us this story? This passage from her childhood provides a brief moment of clarity in terms of how she regards herself. Like many of us, we can see that Jane has spent her life searching for a way to love and be loved. Toys are a way for children to love when they are alone. This passage demonstrates the influence of Jane’s doll on her interpersonal development, especially as it relates to her own self-esteem.
The most significant part of this passage lies in Jane telling us, the reader, that “human beings must love something” (Brontë 43). She does not say she must, or some must, but human beings must, making this an extending belief of hers. We know she still holds this belief as she says that she “remembers” how she doted on her doll, showing reflection on the past but also distancing her from her past self. The other people who surrounded Jane in Gateshead Hall (Bessie, the Reeds, etc.) were less worthy of love than her doll. Given Jane’s troubled childhood past, her doll was the only object worthy for her to love. However, she seems to make fun of this, for loving a doll so “shabby as a miniature scarecrow” (Brontë 43). This seems to ridicule her own starved emotions, showing a distinct lack of self-compassion. Even though Jane says that humans must love something, she then deems her sincerity toward her doll absurd, as if contradicting what she had just said. This makes Jane come across as quite conflicted, self-critical, and unsure of the sense of her own values. Thus, even if what she says is true, she still doesn’t fully trust herself. Jane is always present, but considers there to be “worthier objects of affection” (Brontë 43). This seems to indicate that Jane does not love herself.
We see further significations of Jane’s destructive lack of self-esteem. Helen Burns assures to young Jane that “if all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends” (Brontë 80). Helen could be evoking the spiritual realm, but it also seems to suggest that Jane needs to be capable of being her own friend. In fact, she is the only friend she can always rely on. Jane dislikes herself and thinks very little of herself, which is frequently conveyed through her narration. At one point Jane calls her present self “a defective being, with many faults and few redeeming points” (Brontë 88). Even when she shows Mr. Rochester her paintings, she says they are “nothing wonderful” (Brontë 132), yet goes on to describe them in extreme detail. Here we see Jane Eyre is inconsistent in her values, in her narration, and in her own self-worth. What does all this mean?
It seems to show that the present Jane still has a great deal of growth left to do. Rather than recounting to us some exciting tale or a story of how she arrived where she is, she still seems to be narrating in the rut she started in. Jane does finally express her need to love (as she did for her doll) to Mr. Rochester (Brontë 278), but little change appears to come over the narrator’s own view of self. As I continue reading Jane Eyre, I will be paying very close attention to see if there is any progression, not only in Jane Eyre the character but in her as the narrator. She seems to have very conflicted beliefs regarding her own self-esteem, going all the way back to her love for her doll.
I agree that Jane is constantly in conflict with herself. We see her trying to understand what love is and if she will ever find it. I think this idea relates to when Jane is questioning whether or not to be with Rochester. On one hand, he is the only man who has loved her, why would she let him go? But on the other hand, he is already married and doesn’t treat Bertha nor her like an equal.
Peter, love the connection you made with the doll and Jane’s self-esteem. For me, it seems that Jane’s doll is an extension of herself. Because the doll is an inanimate object, she can project herself and her ideal friend onto it. For example, she doesn’t find it attractive, but she also doesn’t find herself attractive. Perhaps, if the doll was beautiful and perfect-looking though, she wouldn’t have had the same connection with it that she does. I think that Helen Burns’ comment is also important: it seems to allude to eternal life, and Godly love, but there is also the underlying current of radical self-love. In terms of growth, there is a moment of extreme self-enlightenment where Jane has a sort of inward conversation with herself: “‘Who in the world cares for you? or who will be injured by what you do?’ Still indomitable was the reply—’I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.'” (311). I think that Jane’s path throughout this novel is one in which she struggles to find inward peace, but in the end accepts that even when she has no one, what matters the most is how she thinks of herself and how she treats herself.