When we study culture, we learn the differences between the foreign culture and our own, however, being aware of these differences does not mean that we truly know how to act in a foreign culture. Each culture has its own set of rules and implicit codes that are almost impossible to understand without being fully immersed in that culture. However, the immersion process is not immediate, and, consequentially, misunderstandings are inevitable. In addition, there are certain aspects of a culture that are very complex that a foreigner will only understand at their most basic level at the beginning. The cultural complexities and misunderstandings can be resolved if the individual is conscious of what is happening and seeks to improve his or her understanding.
Unfortunately, the cultural faux-pas can start even with the greeting. An American can learn that the French do the “bise,” small kisses on each side of the face, to greet one another, but the social codes surrounding this salutation are too implicit to be fully taught in a classroom setting. Greetings can be particularly difficult because the expectations change from person to person or can even change within the same person. For example, someone can do the “bise” to a person who was just introduced to them, but the “bise” is not always given as a way of introducing oneself to an unknown individual. Americans are also not generally aware of the subtle signals that indicate the other person would like to give the “bise,” which can create an awkward situation if a French person leans in to give the “bise” and the American is not aware.
Another way wherein Americans tend to make mistakes is gauging the acceptable speed where one can eat and drink and also the places where it is acceptable to do so. In the United States, eating can be done at any speed and at any place. In France, eating is done at a slow pace and drinks are never more than sipped, even at parties. Concerning the location, in the United States, a person eats when he or she is hungry, even if he or she is waiting in line at the supermarket or is walking down the street. On a personal note, I was shocked when, while walking down the street and finishing my ice cream, a young man sarcastically shouted at me: “Bon appétit, Mademoiselle!” Apparently, as a friend of mine later told me, it is not acceptable to eat and walk in France.
Obviously, greetings and the speeds at which one eats and drinks are not the only mediums where cultural misunderstandings occur, but they are perhaps the most relevant for a group of American college students. These misunderstandings can be ameliorated with learning and uncomfortable situations can be avoided with a polite apology. Although cultural misunderstandings are annoying, they do present learning opportunities as they compel the foreigner to step back and reflect on their actions and thus broaden their cultural perspective.
-Kristen Cunningham