“Oh Louise, I’m not telling the truth. You aren’t threatening me, I’m threatening myself. My careful well-earned life means nothing. The clock was ticking. I thought, How long before the shouting starts? How long before the tears and accusations and the pain? That specific stone in the stomach pain when you lose something you haven’t got round to valuing? Why is the measure of love loss?” (39)
This quotation comes from the narrator of the book, in reference to the love the speaker holds for Louise, despite the fact that she is married to Jacqueline. In the page before this quotation, the speaker is describing eating lunch with Louise and he is aroused by everything she does, from chewing on a carrot, to chopping up a pear. I thought this was interesting because another one of my classes is discussing food and how it can be related to sexuality.
By using the method, the list of questions and question marks make this set of statements stand out in the book. It is clear that the narrator is in his/her own mind, questioning every thought which entered the mind. The narrator is trying to figure out why these feelings are arising and what to do with them now. The reader can tell that the speaker is feeling significant anxiety about how quickly feelings of love and happiness can turn to pain. Perhaps the speaker had significant pain in the last relationship, or perhaps this relationship is so different, because Louise is unavailable to the speaker, that being around her is torturous. Asking the questions listed in the passage about show the reader that there is an anticipation for an uneasy ending, yet the speaker doesn’t ask these questions aloud, rather they are the inner thought of the mind.
After the passage ends, the speaker continues to discuss the idea of jumping out of a plane without a parachute, a metaphor for possibly telling Louise of the desire for her, and possibly the question of will she leave Jacqueline. This makes it very clear to the reader that the narrator has become love sick over Louise and may possibly confront her and declare the love held for her. The questions asked are significant because they allow the reader access to the mind of the narrator and the struggles the narrator faces about having these feelings.
I loved your look into what the narrator is feeling and how he is grappling with these notions. This ties into my passage about love being measured in loss. Everyone views love in terms of if they have it or not but it should be looked at through a more positive lens. The speaker is in unbearable pain now because he got a glimpse at what life could be but that doesn’t mean he should think this is the end.