Heshe? Shehe? He? She? WE? #genderprobz

Throughout the semester our class has discussed (to great lengths) the idea of gender, and gender stereotypes. Although our readings have been varied they all have had one constant idea: society sets expectations of how a male or female should act. As Kate Bornstein explains in “My Gender Workbook,” “What the doctor says you are at birth, usually determined by the presence (male) or absence (female) of a penis. Most cultures assign some permanent, immutable gender at birth” (28). This assignment can cause huge issues down the line, which is present in the novel “Cereus Blooms at Night.”

Here we are presented with Tyler, a person that identifies “neither properly man nor woman but some in-between, unnamed thing (71). However due to his presence of a penis, he is considered to and referred to as a male. This is a huge issue for Tyler, because he has grown up in a society that tells him he must be one or the other, yet he feels like he is neither. As Bornstein understands, “identity is personal; it’s what we feel our gender to be at any given moment (28).” Unfortunately Tyler is aware that his society must force him to chose one or the other, so in public he presents as male. If it was up to him, he would express himself the way he felt. Instead of just acting as he pleases, he has to actively conform to society by presenting as male, even though he feels he is not one. Bornstein would disagree with Tyler’s society on their view of gender, and find it extremely limiting and misused.

Bornstein further explains gender in relation to the gender identity by saying “the socially acceptable easy way to define one’s sexual preference or orientation (who we want to be sexual with) depends on the gender identity of our sexual partners” (28). This makes for an extremely interesting case regarding Tyler and his significant other, Otoh. Otoh, by birth, would be gender classified as a woman. He made the transition without anyone noticing to a man. He is accepted by society as a man, because he outwardly appears to be a male. Now we have Tyler- man nor woman-, and Otoh- man and woman. Although society would not accept either of their “non confining gender identities,” only accepting male or female gender representations, Bornstein would once again disagree, believing that you can be ” man or a woman or something else entirely” (28).  Although Tyler’s society is not completely accepting of gays, it is proven at the end of the novel that they are more accepting of a man dating a man, than if they had presented themselves as something completely “out of the ordinary.” This is shown through Tyler and Otoh showing public displays of affection to each other without shame. Society easily defines these two apparent men in a queer relationship, when really their gender identities and sexual preferences are way more complex than what meets the eye.