One of the most difficult questions we are left with after reading M Butterfly is how did Gallimard not notice that Song was a man? Or, if he did notice and not say anything, what does that say about Gallimard? As a fan of trashy television shows, I’ve often asked myself similar questions while watching the show “Catfish” on MTV. The show revolves around the concept of online dating and the eternal question that goes along with it: how do you know that the person you’re “dating” is who they say they are? “Catfish” follows the stories of individuals who have never met their significant other in person. The climax of each episode is when the couple finally meets and one of two things happens; either they both are who they say they are and they live happily ever after or one of them is not at all as their online profile displayed them and the other is devastated.
Both M Butterfly and “Catfish” question the idea of love and what it is about someone that we fall in love with. Whereas M Butterfly focuses mostly on gender (is Gallimard gay because he fell in love with a man?) “Catfish” gives us perspective on race, age, economic status, and whatever else makes up a person’s identity. In each of these cases, both with M Butterfly and in every episode of “Catfish,” before the truth of the beloved is found out, the person that the story follows believes him/herself to be madly in love. However, when they find out that the person they love isn’t who they thought he/she was, more often than not they return home, heartbroken and empty handed. So if these people are falling in love with personalities on the internet but the personalities don’t match the bodies imagined to go with them, are these people really falling in love? We like to imagine that we fall in love with a soul, not a body, but if difference between a 22-yr old Caucasian body and a 25-year old African American body is what makes or breaks the relationship, can we claim that love is blind? It is interesting to question M Butterfly through this lens. If Gallimard claims to be in love with Song, when looking at it through this lens, we have to assume he is also in love with Song’s body. Assuming at some point he would have run into some indication that Song is a man, perhaps we can assume that Gallimard is gay, or at least bi-curious. An interesting twist on this is in the movie when Song strips down in front of Gallimard and begs Gallimard to love him. However, in the movie, Gallimard seems disgusted by Song’s male body, much like the participants of “Catfish.” Using the lens of “Catfish,” we are able to see what sorts of characteristics (gender, race, etc.) influence love and can even take priority over pure chemistry.
I really like the approach of your post, it really got me thinking. I personally believe that we fall in love neither with a gender, or a body – but with an idea. This is why finding out that the ‘real’ online partner is different to what we thought they would be is devasting, and why Gallimard never seems to question Song’s gender.
How do you think Gallimard would have reacted if he found out about Song being a man instead of being arrested? Would he have reacted like the contestants on catfish? Or would that have made him realize that he might be gay, and in love with Song anyway?
I also really like your post. It reinforced my idea that Galimard knew that Song was a man, but rather than confront reality he wanted to live in a lie. This is also true of the people on the show Catfish. As Gallimard was presented with many clues that song is a woman, the people on Catfish are presented with clues that the person they are involved with is no who they say they are. Usually the Catfisher refuses to skype or talk on the phone. That coupled with the fact they have not met in person should demonstrate that they are lying, but the person being catfished usually turns a blind eye and choses to believe in the lie rather than confront reality. In both cases, why do you think people would rather live in a lie than know the truth?
I really enjoy the connection between such a controversial, engaging text and a “trashy television [show]” as you stated! I too, really like the show “catfish” and it always has me thinking, “what is love? What is it based upon? is it physical, mental, emotional, or a big ol’ mix of everything?” “Catfish” demonstrates the more physical aspects of love and shows the importance it holds when the true physicality does not match the imagined physicality. M. Butterfly is all about this binary. Gallimard’s sexuality has to be questioned, but Song’s intentions also have to be questioned as well. Does the physicality have to match the gender ‘norm’ for one to be loved by another ‘normal’ person, or can love be ‘blind,’ like you said, and be holistically emotional and mental? These questions are so important in the process of finding love, but is it worth it? Do we need these questions answered, or do we just answer these questions in the name of ‘normality’?
I really like that you connected Catfish to M. Butterfly because although some may see Catfish as just another shoe on MTV it touches on a lot of themes. Your post got me thinking about what actually draws people to each other. In the shoe Catfish it is usually the online picture that initially draw people to each and the personality that keeps the attraction going. In Gallimard’s case he was attracted to Songs appearance. I am very interested in if the book were to be continued would Gallimard’s feelings change? He was so attracted to Song and I always wondered what his reaction would be if he visibly saw Song as a man. Would he leave song or would his attraction to song trump her masculinity?