“I awoke sweating and chilled. Jacqueline slept peacefully beside me, the light was leaking through the old curtains. Muffled in my dressing gown I went into the garden, glad of the wetness sudden beneath my feet. The air was clean with a hint of warmth and the sky had pink clawmarks pulled through it.” (42)
This passage is presented after we find the narrator starting to question their commitment to Jacqueline, they presumably have sex with Louise for the first time, and they have an uncomfortable dream about an ex. The narrator is in purgatory, as they straddle between two relationships, a more foreign one which they know is “proper” but unfulfilling, and one similar to those of their past, with a married woman, and for the first time, being the adulterer (although unmarried).
The passage is riddled with opposites, the narrator’s clammy awakening adjacent Jacqueline’s peaceful sleep, the light of the new day through the aged curtains, the damp chill they felt while waking subsides with the “hint of warmth,” illustrating the narrator’s sense of conflict, and their anxiety about being in limbo between two unfamiliar situations.
The narrator uses the words “sweating,” “leaking,” and “wetness,” all evoking water or moisture, but each received differently. First, they wake in a cold sweat, a contradiction in itself showing their discomfort with their current situation. The light “leaks,”
implying a slowly growing change, one that needs resolution lest it flood the entire space, perhaps to wake Jacqueline from her sleep, or, maybe, her ignorance of her partner’s infidelity. Finally, the “wetness” gladdens the narrator, who, cold and sweating, feels more comfortable standing upon similarly damp the dewy garden ground than they did sweating next to the peaceful, presumably dry Jacqueline. The “hint of warmth,” like the leaking light, will likely spread, warming the narrator the longer they stay outside, the farther she is from Jacqueline.
This is a really interesting read. I had definitely not picked up on this, and recognize the prominence of opposites in this passage. Do you think this particular section relates to any other specific sections of this text? I also think the inclusion of the “hint of warmth” is interesting. I would not have made that connection. Do you think that is in direct relation to the leaking light? Or rather just a use of description?
First of all, the title may be one of my favorite movie quotes ever, rivaling “So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.” from Space Balls.
I think the dichotomy of the narrator’s cold sweat and Jacqueline’s peaceful sleep is incredibly interesting and revealing. In that moment, Jacqueline is at peace with the state of her seemingly stable relationship, while the narrator appears uncomfortable with her infidelity, and possibly with the idea of sleeping with Jacqueline while simultaneously being in love with Louise. The gradual change implied by the leaking light could also indicate the narrator’s gradual acceptance of Louise as their true love, and the eventual ending of their relationship with Jacqueline. This was a well written post, and very interesting!