The idea of “confession” is one that has been intrinsically tied to questions and expressions of sexuality for decades, if not centuries. Michel Foucault discusses this concept in “The History of Sexuality,” discussing confession as a production of truth and a form of power, the holder of which can vary case by case. Confession exists, in a form, as one of the most important moments in a queer person’s life—coming out.
As queer characters continue to frequent mainstream media, so do “coming out” scenes. In recent years, there have been many famous “coming out” moments: Santana Lopez and Kurt Hummel each have their own moments on Glee, Simon Spier emotionally told his parents he was gay in Love, Simon, and Nick Nelson came out to his mom out as bisexual in Heartstopper. These are all explicit in the sense that each character tells a loved one they are in love with someone of the same sex or explicitly state their sexuality. The “coming out” scene I would like to examine through the lens of confession is from season four of Stranger Things. It is, unofficially, the coming out of Will Byers.
Coming out can be a confession no matter what form it comes in, but in the case of Will Byers in season 4 of Stranger Things, there is a weight behind his words that adds to the feeling that he is truly confessing something. In episode 8, when Will’s longtime best friend Mike Wheeler is letting his insecurities get toh him, Will reveals a painting to him that he had been trying to gift him all season long. Except, when he uses this painting (which depicts Mike as the leader of a medeival-dressed group, a heart emblazoned on his shield) as a way to boost Mike’s confidence, he lies. He tells Mike that Mike’s girlfriend and Will’s adopted sister, Eleven, was the one who commissioned it. Will confesses that “El” has been “so lost” without Mike, that she’s “so different from other people”. Turning away from Mike, Will then says: “When you’re different, sometimes you feel like a mistake. But you make her feel like she’s not a mistake at all.” As he continues, he becomes more emotional, to the point where he’s silently crying once he’s said his piece.
Of course, in this scene, Will is not actually talking about Eleven. From the first episode we learn that Will has been working obsessively on a painting, but El did not commission nor does she know what it depicts. She assumes it’s for a girl that Will likes. Though it is made obvious through Will’s subtle confession that he, not El, needs Mike and feels like a mistake for feeling that way, the writer and Will’s actor have since confirmed that Will is queer and in love with Mike. This confession is of special note, because although Mike doesn’t seem to realize, Will is confessing things that are hard for him to voice, hence why he can’t admit he’s the one behind the words. This, Foucault would say, is a “production of truth” (58). Though it’s not the real truth, Will is creating his own truth in this scene to protect himself. And, between Will’s obvious distress and the 80s setting of Stranger Things, the audience gets a real sense that Will is, to some degree, ashamed. He’s coming to terms with his identity and his feelings at a time where it was not always safe to do so. Thus his confession is one made out of desperation for Mike to understand how needed he is, and perhaps for Will to finally release what he’s been holding in without fully exposing himself before he’s ready. This scene perfectly emulates “confession”, especially in the context of queerness and coming out.
link to scene:
https://youtu.be/Pw6m-yWneNA
I absolutely adore this post, as I also am a huge Stranger Things fan. This scene really impacted me when I first saw it, precisely because of what you had mentioned above. The realization that you are “different” from the heteronormative environment you were raised in can cause internal shame, especially in the time period Stranger Things is set in. This had been bothering Will for a long time, but his false truth was a way of finally accepting who he is. Though he is not saying anything about his sexuality out loud, he knows deep down that this is his own individual way of confirming his queerness. He is indirectly stating his own truth.
Your post also made me think about what confession itself implies about queerness. That there is this expectation to “come out” or “confess” your queerness seems like another mechanism of compulsory heterosexuality because it helps to establish that “otherness.” This is not to say that coming out is bad, as everyone has their own experience. But the shame that is practically essential to confession still targets queerness on some level, like it is something outside of that “charmed circle” we talked about a few weeks ago. Foucault also talks about power as disciplinary, as it operates through norms that we internalize. I think this ties in well to what you are saying. Even confession to the self relies in some part on the internalization of certain norms and attitudes.
I totally agree! The shame Will feels is one that only exists due to the heteronormative society he lives in and the “othering” of the identity he feels himself to be. As much as coming out can be a liberating feeling, I find it hard to imagine a circumstance where he would explicitly come out and feel no shame or fear whatsoever, just for the sole fact of his environment being one that is often hostile to queer people.
I really enjoyed reading your post. I liked the emphasis on the coming out being a confession. The way it is portrayed in Stranger Things really shows the emotional effect that this has had on Will and the shame that he carries with him, especially because in earlier seasons Mike had made cruel remarks about him not liking girls. Relating to what another comment said, the Foucault piece really made me think about how queer people have the expectation to come out. It adds to the feeling of being an “outsider”.
In my post I talked about how Mala has to suppress herself in order to survive, and I think something similar is happening here with Will Byers. Neither Will nor Mala feel comfortable revealing certain parts of themselves, fearing for their safety, and so both have confessional moments that are not so confessional as they are hinting at confession. Will is absolutely hoping that Mike might understand him, just like Mala hoped that maybe Ambrose would understand her without her having to spell it out. I think both instances do a good job of showing us the duality of queer confession, which can feel both cathartic and burdensome at the same time.
This scene is so talked about and was really interesting to read about. I think so much media about queer people centers around a coming out as the most important or pivotal moment, and to me that seems so aimed at a straight audience. Not to say that coming out isnt an important and meaningful moment, but focusing queer characters entire story on the moment when they come out plays into the othering of queer characters, centering their separation from the heterosexual norm instead of their moments of joy and love. Coming out being seen as necessary also enforces the idea of straight as the default, something to be assumed until proven otherwise. One trope in media that has never sat right with me is when a closeted gay couple breaks up because one of the partners refuses to come out. All of my experiences with the queer community have shown me that this situation is not realistic. Almost everyone understands what its like to be afraid and perhaps in danger if you choose to come out, and the situation, usually framed as ‘ are you ashamed of me?’ seems so contrived and built for straight people.