I have been really thinking about this idea, of what it really means to put language to an identity. Especially how it signifies, symbolizes, and gets used. This thought also renders me quite a predicament when language isn’t used to label identity, and rather abandons it all together. Without the use of language, can we still rely on simple experiences to explain our identity? In Annie Proix’s, Brokeback Mountain, Ennis and Jack have just had their first sexual encounter “Without saying anything about it both knew how it would go for the rest of the summer, sheep be damned” (15). Here, words seem to cease from their vocabulary and yet with this line it insinuates that both Jack and Ennis will continue on their sexual escapades. I also found this to be an almost comedic approach to lessen the sexual tension between the two. Rather than admit to the enjoyment of each other’s company, instead they recognize their future failure to uphold their duties as sheep herders.
Following this, in a conversation between Jack and Ennis, “Ennis said ‘I’m not no queer,’ and Jack jumped in with ‘Me neither. A one-shot thing. Nobody’s business but ours… They believed themselves invisible” (15). In reading this exchange between the two, I couldn’t help but re-read this section over and over again. After having read the two having sex together initially, and more and more taking risks each time – I had to ask myself is this maybe not queer? Ennis would definitely say he is not gay, but the actions he takes would convince us otherwise. Does having “queer” sex make us queer? Taking a deeper look, “queer” in the context for myself as I read over this line, is probably much different than how “queer” for Ennis would look like. It reminded me of how Eli Clare had examined language with explicit vs implicit definitions. “Queer” in a sense for Ennis might possibly represent something so obscure from his identity that it makes it hard for him to acknowledge it as his own. This framework also related me to this idea of Halberstam’s “metronormativity” where it is believed that being LGBTQ is only appropriate and safe for the cities, and where rurality ceases the cultivation of these experiences. However, I think even as Jack and Ennis claim their heterosexuality on the mountain – the connection that they have been able to find on Brokeback mountain supports this greater claim that queer life can exist and flourish in rurality. It may be because of the “rurality” of the mountain that allows them to explore what “queer” means for them.