Author: hijadelsol

On a recent episode of Grey’s Anatomy, one of the doctors, Warren, was out in the woods burying his father when his brother suddenly passed out. Once they got to the hospital they saw that his brother’s spleen was badly ruined and they did not know why. Later in the episode it was discovered that Warren’s brother was transitioning from a man to a woman and the excess amounts of estrogen caused the severe liver damage. In this episode telling his brother that he was a transgender woman was him confessing his true identity.

In the article The History of Sexuality by Michel Foucault, he states that “One confesses–or is forced to confess”(59). Thinking about the act of confessing this is often true. A person either confesses on their own time because they feel like they are ready to share that part of their lives with other people, or they are forced to confess because of situations that are out of their control. Much like Warren’s brother where he was forced to confess his identity to his brother because of his hospitalization, not because he was ready to express that part of himself.

When talking about the impact of confessions, Foucault also said “torture has accompanied it like a shadow”(59). Warren’s brother had to walk around everyday of his life for 6 years, pretending to be someone who he knew deep down inside he actually was not. Having to live your life in a manner that is not genuine and authentic to yourself is simply torture. By keeping the confession inside, Warren’s brother was placing the shadow over his true identity.

The act of Warren’s brother confessing his true identity shows that confessions are used as a way for a person to relieve themselves of secret and tensions that they hold onto internally. Once the brother confessed his true identity to Warren, there was a feeling of relief and genuine happiness with who he was. He no longer had to be tortured by the shadow this secret had over his life.

“However I knew for a fact she was able to speak and had volumes of tales and thoughts on her head. She rambled under her breath all day and night, as long as she and I were alone.” (99)

In this passage Tyler began to think about how the employees at the center thought Mala Ramchandin lacked basic communication skills. He then went on to talk about how she would communicate only when she was around him. This passage shows the connection that has developed between Mala and Tyler through different forms of language and communication.

Despite what anyone around him may say, Tyler feels like he knows who Mala Ramchandin is as a person. By saying that he knows “for a fact”(99) that she is able to talk and communicate shows that he has a special love and appreciation for Mala that no one would be able to change.

This passage also speaks to the special bond that exists between Tyler and Mala. In the beginning of the book it was said that Mala would not talk to anyone, which is why they thought that she was not physically capable of speaking, but Tyler provided her with a sense of comfortability that allowed her to express herself how she saw fit. Tyler says Mala will talk for a long time “as long as she and I were alone”(99) which shows that she had a great level of trust in him.

Later in this passage it says how Mala Ramchandin was talking to Tyler not just for fun, but because she had a story that she wanted to tell. It seems as though through different forms of language and communication, Mala and Tyler are sharing their story with one another. For example, when Mala stole the dress for Tyler and told him to put it on she was showing that she accepted who he was as a person. She then continued to ignore him once he put the dress on to show him that it was okay to be whoever he wanted around her. Although this communication was non-verbal, she was getting a message across to Tyler, and allowing him to be himself and share his story with her. Throughout the book, this is a mutual story telling that adds to the magic of their relationship.

The main character, Addison Montgomery, in the series Private Practice is always concerned and obsessing about the impact of time in her life. For example, Addison was married to Derek Shepherd but cheated on him with his best friend. Whenever Addison would try to convince Derek that they were meant to be together, she would always revert back to the fact that they were married for 11 years. Addison rarely talked about moments that she and Derek shared together that were meaningful in their marriage. The fact she only spoke about the amount of years shows that she cared more about the longevity of the marriage rather than how the two of them really felt about being together. Halberstam says that, “The logic of time-as-productive thereby becomes one of serial cause-and-effect: the past seems useless unless it predicts and becomes material for a future.”(5) Addison’s actions showed that she felt as though her future years would mean nothing because of the amount of time and effort that she put into her marriage with Derek. Also, the simple humiliation that comes along with divorce was difficult for Addison to understand. Society often sees divorce as a sign of failure and misfortune, and Addison was aware of that. When she got married it was to build a permanent life and home together, and in Addison’s eyes a divorce showed that all of that failed.

Addison was also obsessed about time when it involved her having children. Addison got pregnant at an age and time in her life that she thought was not appropriate. She was married and had gotten pregnant by another man, and she thought that it would have been wrong to have a baby that is not by her husband. In numerous episodes she expresses that she would have had the baby if there were not other parties influencing her. Those outside parties were the standards set by society. Halberstam argues that, “These are teleological schemes of events or strategies for living such as marriage, accumulation of health and wealth for the future, reproduction, childbearing, and death and its attendant rituals.”(4) Addison’s actions did not fall in place with the normal, expected life process, and that ultimately hindered her. She was not able to do what she truly wanted because it did not fall in line with her life’s timeline.

 

“You have scored your name into my shoulders, referenced me with your mark. The pads of your fingers have become printing blocks, you tap a message into my skin, you tap meaning into my body. Your morse code interferes with my heart beat.” (89)

When Louise and the narrator decided to tell Elgin about their relationship, they were able to express how much love they had for each other. This passage was one of many where the narrator described how much of an impact Louise made on their life.

Throughout this entire passage there is repetition of the words “you” and “your”. Whenever the narrator says one of these words, it is always to describe something that Louise has done. For example, the narrator says, “You have scored your name into my shoulders…” (89), implying that Louise has left a mark on their body that cannot be replaced or removed. The constant use of “you” and “your” also shows that the narrator has trouble taking responsibility for their part in the relationship. The narrator constantly says these words to show that Louise was the one who made their relationship exciting, yet complicated as it is.

There are also numerous words that are associated with writing. The narrator says “morse code”, “printing blocks”, “mark”, “score” and “branding irons” all within this passage. Also, the title of the book is Written on the Body and this passage describes all the messages and marks Louise has left on the narrators body. The narrator is expressing how Louise has essentially left her mark on their body, and that mark shows that Louise is forever a part of the narrator. The use of these words also imply a sense of permanency between Louise and the narrator. This also shows that the narrator feels like their relationship will last forever.

The words “shoulders”, “fingers”, “skin”, “body”, and “heartbeat” all appear in this passage, and all of these words are about physical body features. This says a lot about the depth of the narrator’s relationship with Louise. Whenever the narrator would describe something they loved about Louise it would always be something physical, such as her flaming red hair or her breasts. But the narrator never speaks about how Louise thinks or some of her interests. The fact that Louise is leaving all of these permanent marks on the narrators body parts instead of their mind and heart also shows that their relationship was based mostly on their physical being rather than their mental.

“In the heat of her hands I thought, this is the campfire that mocks the sun. This place will warm me, feed me, and care for me. I will hold on to their pulse against other rhythms. The world will come and go in the tide of a day but here is her hand with my future in its palm.” (Winterson, 51)

This passage occurs when the narrator is standing Louise’s bedroom waiting for her to exit the bathroom. Louise then goes on to hold the narrators hand which causes the narrator to express her feelings. The narrator goes on to explain how much love and passion exists for Louise at that very moment.

The attachment that the narrator has developed for Louise is thoroughly shown throughout this passage. When the narrator lists all the things that Louise will do, a sense of dependency is evident. All of the listed acts are things that one should be able to do independently, but the narrator is looking for Louise to do them. The list that the narrator composed also gives way to the kind of heartache they would experience if Louise ever left.

There are two words show up numerous times in this passage that say a lot about how the narrator feels about the love they have for Louise. One word is “me”, which appears three times in the passage. The word “me” always shows up after an action that the narrator believes Louise will do. This shows that the narrator is mostly concerned about the benefits and outcome of the relationship in regards to their self.

There is also repetition of the word “will” in this passage. The word will implies that the act that is talked about is definitely going to happen. The fact that the narrator says Louise will do all of these things shows that they think Louise is someone who will never leave and always follow through. Louise is married and could easily up and leave at any moment, and that says a lot about the control that Louise has over the narrator.

Some words in this passage have to do with big, bright and untouchable objects. Most importantly, “the sun” and “her future”. The narrator also uses the word campfire to compare her hands to the sun and how they basically allow her to live. There is also use of the word “world” along with “sun”. This shows that the narrator thinks of Louise as this untouchable object that she would not be able to survive without.

The phrases “world will come and go” and “here is her hand” reinforces how important Louise is. Saying these two phrases in the same sentence shows that even when something as crucial as the world is gone, the hands of the woman they love will still be there.