The mysterious social life of French students
At the beginning of the school year, I was sure that I was going to make good friends. The first week of classes at the ICT, I met a lot of people. I tried to open up to others and not to withdraw into Dickinson’s small American community. I wanted to meet people quickly so as not to feel alone and so as to discover French youth. Therefore, I started to have lunch at the cafeteria with my French friends from the first week and I made an effort to integrate into their group by separating myself from my Dickinson friends.
At first, this approach worked well: I felt like my relationship with my French friends were progressing normally. But at a certain point, it became impossible for me to deepen my relationships and to establish a stronger bond with people. My conversations about French culture and the difference between France and the United States proved interesting, but insufficient to nourish my friendships. I tried to talk about more personal topics that had nothing to do with politics, culture, language, etc. In the United States, a relationship progresses like this: you confide in your friends more and more, you eventually let your guard down et you understands them on a more intimate level. Obviously my friends here weren’t ready for this progression because their reaction to certain details of my life wasn’t very warm.
The fact that they weren’t comfortable made me re-evaluate how social life works in France. I had taken a bad approach based on my American habits. For now, it seems to me that friendships in France stay superficial for a long time. For instance, when I had dinner with a French friend, we only talked about the subtleties that make languages interesting. Similarly, when I went to a friend’s house, we had fun playing Monopoly, but we never really talked about ourselves. Every reference to our personal history, to what defines us besides our nationality was touched upon fleetingly. It seems to me that the French prefer to keep their “self” out of sight for a long time.
Plus, they’re never the ones to take the initiative: they’re satisfied seeing their friends at the cafeteria, but they don’t see each other often on weekends. Their social life doesn’t seem very developed to me. At Dickinson, I always make sure not to isolate myself from the world or to shut myself in my room. I always spend time with my friends, which maybe seems less important here because they don’t need social reassurance. What do they do all alone? Or with their parents? Their homework, of course, but what about when they’re relaxing? One of the things I’ve discovered about myself is that perpetual solitude makes me sad and a bit depressed. I am normally a very independent person, but people are social creatures, they need ties to others. For this reason, I don’t understand how the French can separate themselves fro, the world for so long. Their separation limits the progression of their relationships at a deeper level.
This superficiality and separation bothers me at the moment, but maybe they’ll yield good results in the future. I hope that their present superficiality will lead to an even deeper relationship than in the United States when they lower their defences. And I hope that they won’t try to keep their distance anymore, that they’ll want to share more moments outside the ICT with me.
Does the slowness of the friendship process help build stronger relationships? I don’t know. I only know that I have a lot of work to do before I understand the mysterious social life of the French.
–Anna Ciriani Dean
Reflections on the importance of language
It’s often easy to forget the importance of language in our lives. Now that I’ve been in France for about three months, I’m starting to get used to my life here. Among other things, it’s become a lot easier for le to get around the city, to go grocery shopping and to ask questions. During a weekend in Paris with two English-speaking friends, I started to deeply appreciate the advantages of knowing a second language.
After two trips two Paris, one with Dickinson (with other students who speak French) and another with American friends (who don’t know the language), I started to notice a big difference between the two trips. During the two trips, we did the same type of activities: we visited main tourist sites, in particular the Louvre and Notre Dame, we took the metro, and we ate at restaurants. The biggest difference between the two trips was the use of language. I always had to explain things to my American friends, whereas everyone on the Dickinson Center trip was able to be independent in Paris, to read signs, to ask people questions on the street. This autonomy was largely due to our comprehension of the French language. Therefore, although Paris is a very welcoming city for non-French speakers, the ability to speak French in Paris completely changes your experience.
There is no need to say that my trip to Paris with Dickinson was more relaxing. But the second stay also had its merits : I realized that it’s very useful to speak multiple languages. In particular, speaking the language of the country you’re in helps you immerse yourself in the culture and understand it better.
–Robert Wise
I’m not the one who gets to decide
When I arrived in France, I laid down a mission to discover as many French specialties as possible. On my own, I’ve discovered French pastries, cheeses, wines, vegetables, fruits and crêpes. My host family has exposed me to rabbit, kidneys, foie gras, duck and countless sausages. There is no shortage of delicious food. Even “malbouffe” (unhealthy foods), such as Master Crumble (muesli) and kebab are better than their American equivalents.
A strange difference between American and French eating becomes evident when people make their decisions. In the United States, you go into a sandwich shop, you choose different garnishes and the person behind the counter makes your sandwich for you. It’s your sandwich, you decide which ingredients go in it, in accordance with Burger King’s slogan : « Have it your way ». In a restaurant, people make all kinds of crazy requests. More cheese, cooked, no onions, or with French fries instead of salad. Every time, the waiter will gracefully bend to your every wish and will make the changes you want. On the one hand, people can order the food they want, on the other lots of clients take advantage of the system and make their orders too complicated.
France doesn’t follow the same client-satisfaction rules. In a sandwich shop, your choices are pre-established. You just have to choose from the provided list. A restaurant may offer you some choices, but there is relatively little to choose from and very little flexibility. A specific request will draw strange looks. If you explain what you want in detail, the waiter will nod and think for a moment, but no actual change will be made.
I think that this cultural difference has evolved from the perception of « expert ». In America, « the client is always right », while in France, the chef is the culinary expert and no client can appropriate that power. Fortunately for me and the other clients, the food is always a surprise. I’m happy to leave the responsibility of creating delicious dishes to French experts.
–Kim Vaccaro
My Short Trip to London
I had the privilege to go to London for a short weekend. My high-school friends are studying abroad in London, so I had a good reason to go meet up with them. London is a great city. Although I’ve already visited the city, there are always things to do. The first morning, I went to Covent Gardens to have waffles as my friend had recommended. After our little snack, we went to Abbey Road. I’m a huge Beatles fan, so I couldn’t pass up the chance to cross this legendary road. I also went to see the Globe Theatre, London Tower and Buckingham Palace. All of these visits were very touristy, but I was happy that my friend knew the city well. It was an authentic experience.
I noticed that my time in Toulouse had a great impact on me because my immediate instinct was to speak French when I entered a store. I also saw Muslim women wearing burkas. My first reaction was that it’s illegal here! But then I remembered I wasn’t in France. It was itneresting to observe.
After my visit, I was happy to get back to Toulouse. It’s a city that I love and know well now.
–Sarah Wright
Students and courses at French universities
Like Chinese students, French students take notes during class. Eating and drinking is forbidden in class for French students. Students can’t ask questions right away if they don’ understand what the professor is saying. Normally, they have to wait until the end of class to ask their questions. Furthermore, French students come to class five to ten minutes early because if they’re late, the professor won’t let them come into the classroom. Nonetheless, it’s normal for the professor to be five minutes late. None of these rules exist in the United States.
What is more, it’s possible for classes to be cancelled or postponed without notifying the students ; they’re the ones who have to enquire at the school’s administration office. This seems a little ridiculous because in American universities, the professor always sends an e-mail to the students if the course is moved or cancelled. Plus, each class only takes place once a week, so each class session in France is longer than in the United States. Usually, a class in France lasts three hours with a ten minute break in between. Professors who teach in the big « amphithéâtres » (lecture halls) often don’t give regular homework. There is only one exam at the end of each semester. Each student has to study the course, read the recommended book and review their notes. Therefore, it’s easier to fail the class if you don’t work because you don’t have a lot of homework and the professor doesn’t verify that you’ve read the book.
The first and second year courses are larger than the ones at Dickinson. There are about two-hundred students per class. The students are very active. During the break, the students who are in the activities association go into classrooms and dance or do other things that the other students find funny. Once, I saw students dressed as cheerleaders dance and sing in a classroom. Even the professor watched them! It was wonderful and funny. Things like that never happen in a class in the US.
Outside of the classroom, French students love to party. The Mondus association is a student club that organizes parties open to all the students. There’s a party almost every day! Normally, French students go out Thursday, Friday and Saturday night. They love to go to bars or discotheques. Place Saint-Pierre, which is along the Garonne river, is their favorite place. During the weekend, there are always lots of students who go there with their friends because the best bars are there. In addition, American students prefer loud music like the kind you hear in nightclubs because they love dancing. The way students have fun in France and the United States isn’t the same. All the parties in the United States are loud and people drink a lot and dance to disco music, but French students prefer to go to calm bars where they can talk to their friends.
— Qichan Qian
Nightclubs
Dance is a vital part of the Hispanic culture. My mother says that I learned to dance before I learned to walk. Everyone dances with each other at family reunions, but most of the traditional dances are between two partners. I was very happy when I heard that my French university had funded an event in a dance club in Toulouse. Culturally speaking, dance can be sensual in the Hispanic tradition, but it’s very different in the United States, where there are rarely any fixed steps. Young Americans today « grind », which is a type of dance that requires the partners to be very close. Nevertheless, traditional Dominican dances like « merenge » or « bachata » are also done with a partner, but in a different way. During my experience in a dance club in Toulouse, I noticed that the DJ mostly played techno music with fun strobe lights flashing to the beat. But when I looked at people, they weren’t close to one another. The way they dance in clubs is interesting because it allows me to observe globalization. For instance, everyone in the club danced to Lady Gaga, an eccentric American artist. Most people knew the words better than I did. In the United States, most music played in clubs and on the radio isn’t as multicultural as in France. It seems to me that the French have a different, more multicultural taste in music, which shows how the French population has gotten used to globalization through the music industry. In the United States, this phenomenon is slower and Americans still have a lot to learn about the French.
–Gabrielle Betances
Parkour in France
I do parkour in the United States, which is an outdoor sport for which you only use your body to overcome obstacles (like walls, barriers, everything you can find in a city). Parkour is more like urban gymnastics and is better known in Europe than in the US. In fact, it was first developed in France. Before arriving in France (for the first time), I did some research on the people who do parkour in Toulouse and I found a group called “Street Jump.” I then sent a message to one of its members. When I first met the guy I had contacted and then the group of people who do parkour like me, I was a little uncomfortable because I didn’t know anybody, and I had only arrived in Toulouse a week earlier. Furthermore, I wasn’t sure about their level and I considered myself a beginner. Luckily, the group with whom I started to train wasn’t the one I had originally found, but a less professional, bigger and more diverse group (level- and age-wise). This group is called the Association pour la Promotion de l’Art du Déplacement (APAD), Association for the Promotion of the Art of Moving. Everybody was very nice and encouraging, especially the session instructors, whom I made friends with right away.
I noticed that the training happens differently here than in the United States. Here, we practice more complicated sequences, whereas in the US we repeat simple movements to master them. There’s definitely a mix. And yet, during the sessions in Toulouse, one of the instructors shows a sequence then everyone, either alone or in pairs, tries to repeat it, refining it more and more and raising their level of expertise.
During most sessions, which take place every Saturday from 2 to 4 pm at Paul Sabatier University, I’m the only girl who participates, and I think I surprise the boys with my energy and my level.
–Yana Schick
Worthwhile restaurant : The Sherpa
Located at 46 Rue du Taur, near Place du Capitole, the Sheroa is a well-known crêperie that is often populated with students. The décor is very nice and I like the surroundings a lot. The walls are decorated with artwork. There are lots of types of salads and salted and sweet crêpes. I love the Island Salad and especially the chocolate crêpe. I go there regularly with my friends on Sunday morning.. It’s a good place to spend time and relax over the weekend. The food is really inexpensive. There are lots of choices of salads, crêpes and ice cream. Plus, the tea menu is also very varied. The only problem is the wait. We once went on a Friday night and there were too many people. On the other hand, the people who work there are very warm, so it’s worth the wait. “This restaurant falls asleep slowly on its laurels and puts its clients asleep, as it’s a charming little place.”
–Qichan Qian
Do you speak argot (slang)?
Gosse, môme, gamin (nm) – child
Crevé (adj) – tired, exhausted
Galérer (v) – to work hard