So today I decided to follow in Jerry Seinfeld’s foot steps (kind of) and conduct and interview about nothing. I found my two friends, Howie Keenan and Andrew Morgan, and saw what was up with them. They’re two pretty basic dudes who like a lot of the same things I do. Guess that’s why we’re friends.
Me: So tell me about your day guys. Anything cool happen?
Andrew: I woke up, went straight to class. Came back took a sweet shower. Found out I got an A on my paper and then talked to my cousin on the phone for like 25-30 minutes. Then I went and got sushi and went to the library. And now I’m here talking to you. I kinda worked hard but I kinda didn’t. Kind of a clique Dickinson day.
Me: Nice, Howie what about you??
Howie: Well. I had four classes today, plus gym if you want to count that. I went home for lunch and had a leftover chicken cutlet. I made dinner for Hanukkah which was pretty good. I also had an Italian sandwich from the quarry today which was also bomb. Now I’m here talking to you.
Me: What else did you make for Hanukkah dinner?
Howie: Well the meal was quite carb-heavy, lots of bread and matzah balls. Chicken cutlets, potato pancakes (latkes). I sat down with my friend Kevin and we had a little Chanukkah dinner. It was quite lovely.
Andrew: did you just say Chanukkah??
Howie: yea thats how you say it.
Me (trying to get them back on track): OK. So Howie what’s your most redeeming quality?
Howie: (thinking…. for a while…) well its definitely my intellect. I think I’m pretty wise.
Andrew: pretty cocky you think your wise
Howie: Maybe. But fuck it. I’m wise.
Me: Andrew what about you? Are you good at anything?
Andrew: Yea I’m pretty swag at clash of clans. It consumes most of my day. Also kinda good at econ which I guess will be helpful.
Me: Do you guys work out?
Howie: oh yea all the time. Here’s the breakdown from today. Ran a mile at the 7.4 pace (not too fast not too slow, I get a nice little schvitz), so after that I did the stair master for a while, burned like 340 calories. I like the stair master it makes me feel tall which is cool. Listened to some sweet music too. I had to get a drink after that too i was pretty parched. Saw my friend who was complaining about gym class but I told her that it would be ok. Then I left the gym. My whole back was soaked and I had to go to class like that. I smelled like shit but fuck it.
Andrew: I don’t work out. I’m a bum.
Howie: I’m definitely the more athletic one
**Andrew nods, agrees**
At this point Andrew gets too distracted with his Clash of Clans game and Howie has to go to a meeting, so I decide to end the interview.
