– Olivia Laing
After having mastered the crowded metro backpack shuffle, figuring out that the « soorawefnjipwef ?» muttered by the barista actually means «for here or to go?» and successfully completing the task of finding the well-hidden class schedules at the Mirail, one French survival skill continues to escape me : navigating restaurants.
I find myself utterly bewildered upon first entering a French restaurant because the rules that govern them are different in France (of course) and change from one restaurant to the next. And so, in an effort to transform the implicit into explicit, I’ve put together a guide, inspired by the multitudes of mistakes I’ve made during my time in France.
First: Where do I sit?
Most of the time, in cafés and bars, it’s up to you to choose your table, so be confidant and sit down! In restaurants, go directly to the server and ask for a table.
Second: Where do I order?
After you’ve found a seat, the server usually comes to give you the menu. Take note: from time to time in cafés and bars (and Y Restaurant, which I recommend strongly, on Rue des Filatiers), when the menu is posted outside, the server will assume you have already looked at it and chosen.
Another exception: fast food places. If you’re in the mood for a kebab, calzone or burrito, go to Nan Kebab (open on Sundays- almost unheard of! Rue des Filatiers), Pizza Lopez (Place des Carmes) or Coatl (also on Rue des Filatiers). In this type of restaurant, you order at the counter, find a table and the server will bring you your food.
Third: Where do I pay the bill?
The most important thing to know: unlike in the United States, patrons can stay as long as they like and so the server will never bring you the bill if you don’t ask for it. I learned this the hard way when I spent almost three hours at a Lebanese restaurant waiting for the check… Finally, I went up to the counter to ask, where I discovered that’s where you usually pay in cafés, brasseries and bistros. In classier restaurants, the server will almost always bring the check to the table. If you have no idea where to pay the bill, keep in mind that even the French don’t always know. It’s completely normal to ask the server, who probably already knows that you’re not French, so you have nothing to hide.
Et voilà! For those who still feel intimidated by this series of exchanges, I recommend the haut-cuisine of Carrefour – it’s always self-serve and you pay at the door.